When someone says “abortion pills”, you know they’re an idiot

That intellectual stalwart known as the Daily Oklahoman saw fit to publish the following cartoon as if it had an actual point to make.

It's sad but true: Fifteen year old girls are often smarter than their parents.

It’s sad but true: Fifteen year old girls are often smarter than their parents.

Where to begin with this bullshit? Well, let’s start with the most idiotic aspect and work back from there.

An R-rated movie about fucking “abortion pills”? That sounds like it’ll sell a lot of fucking movie tickets. Maybe Optimus Prime will transform into an abortion pill in the next Transformers movie. I mean, why the fuck not? It’s not like that would do any more damage to the franchise than Michael Bay has done already.

How many fucking movies about “abortion pills” are there, anyways? And why the fuck do the right wingers suddenly think there are a bunch of abortion pill movies out there? Do they even watch movies? The whole concept of this cartoon hinges on the idea that there’s something hypocritical about letting children have this thing vs. letting them watch a movie about this thing. But there are hardly any god damn movies about the thing in question, so it’s a stupid fucking comparison. Having “abortion pills” vs. watching movies about “abortion pills” is not a real issue in the real world.

Here’s a more apt comparison. Sometimes, idiotic and irresponsible parents buy guns for their five year old children, who then go on to kill their siblings. There’s a fuck ton of R-Rated movies about guns, and apparently god-humping right wing dingleberries are comfortable with giving kids as young as 5 a gun, but would never let these heavily armed children watch an R-rated movie.* Where’s the fucking Daily Oklahoman cartoon about that? That’s a real life example of “You can have it, but you can’t watch a movie about it,” and it’s a hell of a lot younger than 15, too.

Setting that stupidity aside, there’s no such thing as an “abortion pill”. The term was invented by woman-hating busybodies on the right for a pill that a woman can take shortly after sex to prevent pregnancy. All it does is prevent a zygote–which, I remind you, is a SINGLE CELL–from implanting in the uterus, so a pregnancy doesn’t occur. In the god-humper’s mind, this single cell is more important than the well-being of the actual living, breathing human woman who carries it. Think about that. They think parents should be able to force her to have a child at only 15–which will negatively affect the remainder of her life–rather than let her take a pill that prevents a single cell from implanting in her body. That’s how fucking sick these people are. Single cells are more important than the lives of 15 year old girls.

Setting that stupidity aside, a 15 year old girl DOESN’T need her parents’ permission to see an R-rated movie. She just needs to be accompanied by someone over 17, who doesn’t have to be a parent. That’s it. And even that rule is only loosely enforced by the theaters. Anyone who thinks that the MPAA’s system actually makes it so that parents get to determine what R-rated movies their teenagers see is a fucking naive twat. And why the fuck would you want to be so controlling of your teenager’s life, anyways? Let them see some fucking movies. Yes, your 15 year old daughter is watching R-rated movies without your permission. Deal with it, you puerile prude.

Setting that stupidity aside, the government has no say whatsoever in how old you have to be to see a movie. There’s this thing called the First Amendment you might want to look into. The government can regulate how old you need to be to take a drug, but not watch a movie. They’re two completely unrelated issues.

Setting that stupidity aside… “Abortemall”? Seriously? You think the people who make the morning after pill just want to abort all the pregnancies there are? Then why aren’t they grabbing women who have recently had sex and forcing the pills down their throats?  The pill is entirely voluntary. But that’s what you guys really hate about it, isn’t it? Women (and teenage girls) can go and buy these pills of their own free will, thereby making their own decisions about whether they get pregnant or not. In the theocrats’ minds, women and girls making their own choices about their bodies is the same as aborting all pregnancies.

Setting that stupidity aside… Oh, god damn it, I’m tired of this. This cartoon is an onion of stupidity–each layer of imbecility pulls back to reach yet another stinky, tear-inducing layer of retarded bullshit. I’m done.

I could go on. There’s the whole thing about portraying a 15 year old wearing a 9 year old’s pig tail hair style, or the egregious skull and crossbones on the box, or the box office that looks like it’s from 1946, or the fact that the cartoonist felt the need to put “abortion pills” in red ink just in case he was being too subtle… But if I went through everything about this cartoon that’s ball-crunchingly stupid, I’d be at it all day. Suffice it to say that the Daily Oklahoman ain’t doing itself any favors by publishing the work of this ignorant, untalented hack (whoever he is). But then, when has the Daily Oklahoman ever done anybody any favors?**

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*It should be noted that I have no objection to portraying guns in movies, and honestly don’t care if a 15 year old watches a violent R-rated movie or not. But I have to wonder why any moron who agrees with this cartoon thinks it’s okay to put a gun in a kid’s hand if you won’t let them watch a movie about guns.

** The answer is, “When they’re wealthy and need their questionable business practices promoted without any skepticism whatsoever.”

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Juxtaposition

WorldNetDaily (WND) may not always come right out and say it, but they have ways to let you know where they stand. These two articles were posted right next to each other in their “Faith” section today:

Hitler was a Catholic who invoked Jesus' name in Mein Kampf. Gays were persecuted in the Holocaust, like Jews. Therefore, Christians are associated with persecuting both gays and Jews. Therefore, Christians get a bad name and people criticize them. Therefore, Christians are the real victims.

Hitler was a Catholic who invoked Jesus’ name in Mein Kampf. Gays were persecuted in the Holocaust, like Jews. Jews support gays, which is an opinion different from Christians’ opinion, and one which happens to involve two groups of Holocaust victims.  Therefore, Christians are associated with persecuting both gays and Jews. Therefore, Christians get a bad name and people criticize them. Therefore, Christians are the real victims.

Good thing they underlined Christians and put “gay” in scare quotes, just in case the juxtaposition wasn’t clear enough. WingNutDaily knows who the REAL victims of the Holocaust were! You just gotta read between the scare quoted underlines.

The comments on the ‘Jews’ article make things even more clear.

signsofthetimes8888 • 

The serious question is how can any person who professes to believe in God also support gay marriage? This is absolute nonsense. Another question is are these polls correct? If most Americans don’t know about how polls are altered, fabricated, rigged, how they are used for propaganda, and how they are used to push the liberal lunatic agenda then America is a country of pure stupid. Supposedly of all races it was the Jews who came out in an extraordinarily large percentage to vote for the current dictator in chief Obozo. So if all of this is true then American Jews are just shooting themselves in the foot and if this is true then they don’t bare much resemblance to the Jews of Israel….

Nottolate • 

“76 percent of US Jews support legalizing same-sex marriage”

Looks like they still haven’t learned their lesson. Not that they are authentic Jews anyway.

DvoraChesed

In America, “Jews” and “Liberals” are nearly interchangeable terms.
There are many exceptions of course, but not nearly enough.
It is a sad truism that Jews embrace liberalism to the point of being suicidal.

sikhed DvoraChesed • 

From reading the Old Testament, and also seeing how they’ve been treated historically, a real Jew would/should be quite conservative.

They’re not Real Jews ™. They’re those fake American Jews, who aren’t nearly as Jewy as those authentic Israeli Jews. (Except that gay marriage is gaining ground in Israel too–oops!) We know the Israeli Jews are real Jews because they kill more Arabs than those fake, gay American Jews. We’re WingNutDaily; our readers are smart and observant and totally not racist.