People want to be important. They want their lives to matter. For most of us, that just means doing the best we can with what we have, which ultimately doesn’t amount to much. For the rare few, that really does mean changing the world and having your name in the history books for generations to come. But there’s another rare few who, like most of us, have absolutely nothing to offer the world at large, but who just can’t stand the fact that they’re not in the History Books Club. Most of these people just sit in their underwear in their mother’s basement posting gibberish on Reddit and die forgotten like almost everyone else, but every now and then someone actually decides to treat them like they’re news. Enter WingNutDaily, and their promotion of a $10,000 “challenge” to “evolutionists”.
$10,000 prize to disprove Bible’s creation account
Evolution called fantasy based on ‘superstitions 2,500 years old’
It’s funny because they think “science” means offering money to disprove something you read in a 2,500 year old book (while accusing your opponent of partaking in your own brand of stupidity).
A California creationist is offering a $10,000 prize to anyone who can prove in front a judge that evolutionists are right and the Bible is wrong when it comes to the development of life on Earth.
This has already been done numerous times. Whether it’s MacLean v. Arkansas or Edwards v. Aguillard or Kitzmiller v. Dover, creationism (in whatever mutant abomination it’s evolved into at a given period) has taken evolution to court and lost every single time.
This is like someone saying, “If you think the Charlotte Bobcats suck, then prove it on the court!” Uh, it has been proven on the court. Their 17-54 record as of the time I’m writing this is the proof. They suck. Just extend the Bobcats’ 2013 suckiness to 60 years of failed courtroom challenges and you get the picture. Extend it to a 150 year scientific beat down and you get even more accurate.
So, story over, right?
Dr. Joseph Mastropaolo, a former professor who has a Ph.D in kinesiology, is putting up $10,000 of his own money in the contest, known as the Literal Genesis Trial.
Ooooooo, kinesiology! That makes him an expert in…exactly nothing that has anything to do with evolution. But in the creationist movement if you have an associate’s degree in abstract yodeling from Degrees-For-Less University, that makes you a “scientist” and therefore qualified to deny all findings in fields you’ve never even attempted to understand.
The opponent is expected to contribute $10,000 as well, for a winner-take-all amount of $20,000.
What part of your brain malfunctioned and concluded that this is how science works? I’ve interacted with many scientists and followed developments in science for years. This kind of schoolyard taunting and self-promoting betting is just not how the process works.
Mastropaolo maintains on his website that “evolution is devoid of scientific evidence.”
And lucky for him he makes that claim to Christians, who are quite used to believing bullshit without any evidence. That means he doesn’t have to address all the mountains of evidence that biology has built up over the last 150 years regarding evolution. He doesn’t have to address deep homologies, biogeography or comparative morphology. He doesn’t have to address the fact that fossils are actually discovered based on where evolution predicts they will be. He doesn’t have to address the fact that evolution is used very effectively in epidemiology and agriculture. He can just tell his Christian audience that there’s no evidence without any worries about whether or not they’ll actually check the evidence to see if that’s true. Christians are nothing if not predictably gullible.
“As an acid test of that finding, the most outspoken evolutionists worldwide bar none were challenged to contend for the Life Science Prize,” he said, adding, “evolution exists nowhere in the universe, never has, never will, except as an inverted fantasy based on vitalism superstitions 2,500 years old.”
This childish word salad isn’t actually a quote they got from an interview with him. It’s just some of the ungrammatical crap that can be found on his website.
He says to date, more than 374,000 evolutionists, by individual or organization invitation, cannot be coaxed into revealing their scientific evidence.
The vast mountains of publications explicitly detailing this evidence don’t count. The evidence must be explicated in a manner that even a wiener dog could understand, or it’s not real science. The Bill of Stupid Rights clearly states that nothing is science unless it is believed by stupid people who never attempted to understand it before believing it. It clearly states this because stupid people believe it does, and haven’t put any thought into the question of whether a Bill of Stupid Rights actually exists.
Some of the famous evolutionists who have been invited to take part include Oxford University professor Richard Dawkins, who Mastropaolo says is “possibly the world’s foremost propagandist for evolution possesses not one iota of scientific evidence,” and syndicated columnist and Pulitzer Prize winner George Will.
Can’t imagine why they all completely ignored this prestigious invitation. After all, Joseph Mastropaolo is Very Important and is really Making A Contribution. He’s doing lots of Groundbreaking Science Stuff. So says the Bill of Stupid Rights.
The Literal Genesis Trial contest would take place in a courthouse in Santa Ana, Calif., before a superior court judge agreed upon by all parties.
Your tax dollars at work! We wouldn’t want public money going to feeding the poor or giving medical treatment to those who don’t have insurance. But stroking the ego of some dingleberry who likes to play “scientist” in his mama’s basement? Yes! That’s what Jesus wants!
“Evidence must be scientific, that is, objective, valid, reliable and calibrated,” Mastropaolo says.
Unless it’s creationist evidence, in which case it need only meet just one of the following criteria:
- Jeebus said so!
- I don’t understand it!
- Evidence is a liberal conspiracy!
- I believe it in my heart!
- Stop making fun of me!
- You can’t explain EVERYTHING, so that means you can’t explain ANYTHING!
- It’s not what I was taught growing up!
- You’re going to hell!
- People in Europe believe it, so it must be wrong!
- Everyone gets to have their own version of science! (This applies to origins/evolution and no other sciences except global warming)
- “Scientists,” such as kinesiologists and dentists, reject evolution, so it’s false!
- Parents don’t want their kids to be taught atheism, so science isn’t real!
- Somebody who did something bad believed in evolution, so that makes evolution false! This also means that 2+2 does not equal 4! I’m a retarded dumbfuck!
“They [evolutionists] are not stupid people, they are bright, but they are bright enough to know there is no scientific evidence they can give in a minitrial,” he told the Guardian.
No, they’re bright enough to see through your self-aggrandizing dogshit. The evidence from genetics, biogeography, comparative morphology and literally dozens of other fields is more than adequate to establish the theory. The fact that some joker with a website issues an utterly impotent “challenge” that no courtroom would ever waste their time on is utterly irrelevant to what’s actually happening in science today.
Mastropaolo has received two Vice Presidential Awards, one for Aerospace Safety and one for Aerospace Medicine. He taught biomechanics and physiology at California State University, Long Beach, for 26 years.
None of which has anything at all to do with evolution. You might as well list his Boy Scout badges and the scores he got on Angry Birds.
Even a brief perusal of this buttnugget’s website
is all you need to see that this guy is living a delusion. He charges basically every evolutionary biologist on Earth with “default judgment”, while conveniently leaving out the fact that such a sentence can only be declared by–you know–a frickin’ judge
. And of course, no judge anywhere in the universe has issued any such judgment. He’s basically invented an imaginary victory over a bunch of people who don’t even know he exists. It’s like a game of legal Calvin ball, but he’s just one pathetic kid playing it all by himself who stupidly can’t even understand the rules.