A hurricane of nonsense

Hey, another natural disaster with dozens dead and thousands of homes and businesses destroyed. You know what that means. Obviously the message from Hurricane Sandy is that we should blabber about God some more! And CNN’s religion blog is on the job

As millions of Americans begin to clean up from Superstorm Sandy, many will  turn to insurance companies to cover damages caused by an “act of God.” It’s legalese for natural disasters.

Some of the online conversation around Sandy have treated it as such an act, with the term “prayer” trending on Facebook on Monday, as the nation awaited the storm’s landfall.

Well, at least the term “rain dance” wasn’t trending, or the storm might have been even worse!

1. God bless: It was a message expressed by well-wishers around the world. Those spared by Sandy took to social media to show their support and sympathy as the images proliferated of New York’s flooded streets and New Jersey’s eroded beaches. Despite different faiths and nationalities, the upshot was the same: Our prayers are with you.

That’s the fucking upshot of getting your house blown away? Not. Worth it.

Waleed Obaid My Prayers to all family and friends in NY and the rest of East cost OH Allah please help People to stay safe and no harm…

Maybe Allah could pitch in by NOT MAKING HURRICANES.

Darlene Guillen Bohorquez if this storm knocks you to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray, and I will be praying with you. Keep safe and remember to help those in need in the aftermath.

The storm knocked me to my knees so that I could pray more? Thanks, God. Now could you please fix my shattered tibia?

Andrea Holmes My prayers go out to all the people who are affected by this storm. And praying does help. God is in control of everything whether you like it or not.

That’s really supportive! God’s shoving a hurricane up your ass whether you like it or not, so just pray to your torturer that he hurts you less than others! Oh, and God is merciful and loving and just. See you in church!

Bishop Hanson ‏@bishophanson
Merciful God, for the millions who this night are experiencing the fury of Hurricane Sandy we pray for safety and comfort. Amen.

I would only take Bishop Hanson seriously if he added MMMBop to the end of every tweet.

2.Thank God: For those caught in Sandy’s path, the conversation was different. More than 7.5 million in the mid-Atlantic and Northeast were without power on Tuesday. Those who could post online expressed gratitude, with “thankful” the 8th most shared term on Facebook by Tuesday morning. And from Twitter:

Demetrius Minor ‏@dminor85
Thanks to everyone who prayed for us during Hurricane Sandy. We were not affected. I thank God for that. Please pray for those who were.

Sam Gentile ‏@SamGentile
Thank God we escaped unscathed from Sandy except for power last night. This is unlike a lot of South Jersey that had lot of damage

Of course. You can never have any kind of disaster without hearing someone say, “Thank god it was them and not me!” Seriously, people, we’re supposed to be a civilized country. Does no one notice how arrogant that sounds? And can we ever get past the primitive notion that meteorological phenomena are caused by invisible boogie men?

3.God’s wrath: A small minority saw Sandy as God’s judgement.

This Tweet is from a leader of Westboro Baptist Church, the Kansas congregation known for its anti-gay pickets at military funerals:

Shirley Phelps-Roper ‏@DearShirley
We bow in humble thanks 2 God 4 Sandy! Thank God for a plain message delivered to a puddle of states that proudly flip Him off! #FagMarriage

God sent another fag-related hurricane? Well, Katrina missed all the gay people in New Orleans, and, big surprise, Sandy didn’t single out the gays either. What’s that they say about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

Nikola Ilievski 24.03.1999. – 10.06.1999. God remembers everything, your NATO bombed us, now enjoy. Greetings from SERBIA!

Serbia??? Seriously, dude, we’re past you. You’re, like, four wars ago. And why did it take god over 13 years to get around to punishing us for bombing Milosevic? Or does this guy just shout this same thing every time something bad happens for America? “Your national hero Lance Armstrong turned out to be a big stinky cheater! Ha! Thank Jesus for steroids and all hail mighty Serbia!”

Hassan Chandio -Disrespecting others religion. and destroying others country killing thousand and millions of people in afghanistan, libya and syria . this is what you get

It’s disturbing that so many Muslims put “disrespecting religion” in the same category as “killing a gajillion people”. And let me pass a little info on to you, Hassan: We’re not at war in Syria. That’s Muslims killing other Muslims over there. But go ahead and blame us for it if you want. I guess it’s better than facing the reality that maybe Islam doesn’t make people as peaceful as you think.

4. God does not exist: Some used Sandy to question religion or at least the idea of blaming the storm on God, employing science, humor and venom. A back and forth between believers and nonbelievers sparked a tense conversation in the comments section on CNN.com.

From Facebook:

Johnny Trujillo Praying won’t do any good. Send some aid or go volunteer if you really want to help. Talking to your imaginary friend won’t do anything.

Well, it’s good to know there’s at least one sensible person on the intertoobs.  I salute you, Mr. Trujillo. As for the world, they and their imaginary friend will ignore you. And you’re not invited to their special tea party, either.