P ↔ ~P

Even religious people think religion sucks. That’s why we get goofball Christians declaring things like “I Hate Religion, but I Love Jesus.” While to any sensible human being this is like saying, “I hate cheese, but I love cheddar,” as if cheddar ain’t a fucking cheese, many Christians take this route to evangelism because even they realize that religion stands for everything backwards, boring, oppressive, invasive, ignorant, stodgy, sanctimonious, outdated, and hypocritical that the human animal has ever devised. They sell a “relationship with Jesus Christ” which, in substance, is identical to what I listed above, but which they’ve slapped a different label on. Well sorry, guys, but covering up the label on that can of expired Vienna sausages won’t turn them into big juicy Bratwursts on the grill. (Does that make you horny, baby?)

This is just the kind of stupidity that would appeal to a nincompoop like Victoria Jackson. (I promise my four readers this won’t turn into the All Victoria All the Time Blog. I just couldn’t resist going back to that bottomless well of dumbness one more time.)

Is Jesus different than “Religion”? (22 million views) Yes.


And who cares if it got 22 million views? It’s probably just 20 million idiots and 2 million assholes like me who make fun of it.

Like I’ve always said, since learning it at Florida Bible College in 1976, the word “religion,” “re-li-gio” in the original Greek the New Testament was written in, means “to bind back” to God – in other words, “good works” for salvation.

Okay. First off, “religion” is from the Latin, not Greek. The Latin word “religio” does not occur in the New Testament. The word for religion in the New Testament is Θρησκεία, or sometimes δεισιδαιμονία.  Florida Bible College sure cranks out some excellent scholars, don’t it?

The Bible teaches that we could never be good enough to be with God, “our righteousness is as filthy rags.”

And who chose to create us that way? Man, God is such a dickhole. Make us imperfect, and then constantly insult us and threaten us with eternal damnation for being that way.

That’s why God became a man, Jesus, died, was buried and rose from the dead to pay for our sins.

So here’s god’s reasoning: “Huh. I’m not happy with the way I made humans. Therefore, I must become one of them and kill myself. That should fix the problem.”

And, Victoria, would you mind explaining how any of this is NOT religion? Sounds just like fucking religion to me.

That is called “the gospel,” or “good news.” Ephesians 2:8,9, “For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is a gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast.”

That is called “the bullshit”. The only reason we even need to be “saved” is because God is an incompetent creator with a childish temper and a pathological need for affirmation from his underlings. It’s not a gift. It’s extortion.

This young guy, Jeff Bethke is telling the good news at FORTHEKING.TV Check it out! Praise the Lord! I’ve been praying for revival in our country and leaders to rise up and point us to Christ. My prayer is being answered.

Victoria, do you even understand what Mr. Bethke was saying? How does anything in this maundering mini-article relate to the “I hate religion, but love Jesus” line of bullshit it’s supposed to be discussing? Can you not even directly address a topic requiring at least a modicum of mental effort without losing track of your thoughts in the space of a mere three paragraphs?

Not that it matters. You’d have to be pretty dumb to think that a “personal relationship with Jesus Christ” isn’t just religion in a new package. Nothing any of these superstitious God-humpers can say will change that.