Russia Sucks (at least when it comes to gay rights)

Mother Russia is trying as hard as it can to avoid joining the 21st century when it comes to LGBT equality. They’ve recently outlawed “gay propaganda” (which is code for “any public assertion that gays are human beings”) and adoption of Russian children in countries that support marriage equality; they’ve sent police and soldiers to viciously attack gay rights protesters; and they’ve turned a blind eye to homophobic violence, up to and including murder. They’ve also issued confused and contradictory statements on whether they will equally harass foreign gay athletes and spectators at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi (which is apparently some shitty little burg way out in frozen buttfuck Russia). Oh, and check out the warning label under the heading of those articles from a Russian website:

This article contains information not suitable for readers younger than 18 years of age, according to Russian legislation.

Even talking about oppressing gays is “not suitable”! We’ll oppress them, but SSSHHH! Don’t talk about it! Oppression works better when no one talks about it in public!

It’s safe to say that Russia never fully recovered from its Stalinist totalitarian days, and Vladmir Putin is more than happy to stoke the bigoted irrational fears of right wingers in his country in order to solidify his power. Older gays must be having flashbacks to the days of a repressive Communist regime that ruled through fear and intimidation. But you know who the real victims are? The bigots, of course! Or at least, that’s what the English version of Pravda.ru wants us to believe.

Good bye, totalitarian Facebook

31.07.2013 | Source:

Pravda.Ru

See all that stuff I linked to in the first paragraph? Yeah, Facebook didn’t do anything like that, in case you’re wondering. So what makes Facebook so totalitarian?

Something has to be said. It has been over six week since I last posted on my Facebook account, and rarely opened it. I was trying to get rid of the addiction, communication with many people who became my close friends. It turns out that at times I shared with them my thoughts that were once spoken only among very close friends. I was flattered that these thoughts were discussed by people I’ve never met in person, but who turned out to be like-minded individuals.

I decided to put an end to this communication, and, likely, for good. It is a shame…: (

So Facebook helped you meet fellow dumb people. Why is this a problem for you? (I could tell you why it’s a problem for me, but you wouldn’t care.)

It’s funny, but six weeks ago I decided to stop using Facebook after the social network has blocked my account due to complaints of a sexual liberties advocate who called me a homophobe, and who I called a homophile in response.

“Homophile”? You must have gotten blocked for butchering the English language.

I posted some objections to the support team of Facebook Russia over the use of the antonyms “homophobe” – “homophile” in the Russian language. No one bothered to respond.

Can’t imagine why they weren’t prompt in getting back to you…

On my page I posted against gay propaganda aimed at children.

Right wingers are the same everywhere, aren’t they? Just like in America, Russian bigots just simply echo boilerplate terms without putting so much as a moment’s thought into it. In reading on the new Russian legislation, this term “gay propaganda” has pooped out of just about every bigot’s ass-mouth over and over and over, and it really just means “support for gay rights.” Are you publicly stating that gays should have human rights? Well, that’s gay propaganda! We must silence you, FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!

I shared what I do not like about various public figures who oppose the independence of my country or call for what they believe to be freedom and democracy.

“Don’t they realize that only bigots like me get to have freedom and democracy?”

On my initiative, Pravda.Ru was nearly the first Russian online media outlet that started actively working with Facebook placing their interactive panel on Pravda.Ru’s pages.

*Golf clap*

In short, I tried a six-week long break in communication with the people I used to chat almost daily since 2009. Now I realized that I am not willing to work for people who can block my page because my thoughts are different from theirs.

I’m not privy to the entire ordeal, but I’m guessing they blocked you not for your thoughts, but because you’re an asshole.

I am not going to let some Facebook employees hired by a certain Katya Skorobogatova (who is she anyway?) to tell me what I can and what I cannot post on my account in the literary Russian language? ! 🙂

Oooo, literary bigotry! Dostoyevsky hates fags!

I am not a fighter with misfits like Skorobogatova and her staff on their territory and in their coordinates system. Why? Pravda.Ru Media holding that I own has over 20 resources where I, as a founder and editor, can post anything that does not contradict the Russian legislation without looking at Zuckerman’s boys and girls who moderate the opinions of their users when it comes to the issues of same-sex love.

I can say “anything that does not contradict Russian legislation.” That phrase right there should tell you who the real totalitarian is. A country that outlaws speech has no right to call itself free. But in this authoritarian’s mind, it’s a travesty that Facebook (a private company) would block his anti-gay bigotry, but perfectly okay for his government (which is supposed to represent the people) to use violence and prison sentences to silence anyone who publicly advocates for human rights.

Why would I fight with them? They are a minority on a global scale, because the most important thing for every normal person is children. Homosexuals cannot have children by definition.

I win because I procreate! It’s like Vadim Gorshenin thinks this cartoon (NSFW) is meant as actual advice on how to win a fight.

He also seems to think humans are fruit flies, whose only goal in life is to make more fruit flies. Sorry, pal, but some of us have broader horizons than that. It’s a stupid point, anyways, because gays are perfectly capable of procreating. They can also adopt, for that matter, unless some assholes in Russia pass an idiotic law prohibiting it.

While I was writing this, it grew into a column that I can publish on Pravda.Ru.

Translation: Pravda.ru will publish any horseshit as long as it’s bigoted, ignorant, and poorly reasoned.

Why do these thoughts deserve to be published in this online newspaper as opposed to a journal or a social network status?

Because the internet is an echo chamber of babbling inanity, hatred and delusion?

It is simple: I, like probably many others, faced sex-censorship by Facebook whose leader headed a gay parade of nearly a thousand employees of this gay social network (it must be the way since about a thousand FB employees joined him on this parade?)

How dare they hold a gay pride parade???

Hypocrisy, thy name is Vadim Gorshenin.

In short, I have three kids and I do not want any social network as part of their totalitarian “tolerance” prohibit heterosexuals from not just expressing an opinion, but simply defending it, eating antonyms of the insults they were insulted with, and dictating what should a “tolerant “community” be like.

Like American bigots, Russian bigots are complete fucking pussies. They bitch and whine like little children when some minor problem affects them, like getting blocked on Facebook. But they’re perfectly fine with gays being beaten and imprisoned.

I, unlike Zuckerberg and Skorobogatova, want to have grandchildren. I want to give them the love that parents do not have a chance to give their children…

How the fuck do you know they don’t want to have grandchildren? And what the fuck does this have to do with anything?

I understand that FB, through the hands of their moderators hired by Skorobogatova, does not let me share with you my thoughts as a father of three … If so – why don’t they get lost?

You seem to be the one throwing a hissy fit after they told you to get lost by blocking you. Fuck, Gorshenin has done everything but stomp his feet and hold his breath because Mommy wants him to eat broccoli at this point. He should be less worried about having children and more worried about not acting like one.

All I want to write will be publish by Pravda.Ru or VKontakte where I’ve moved for now.

Vadim Gorshenin

Yeah, see, that would be you fucking off, not them. I seriously doubt Facebook gives a flying assfuck about your whiny bullshit.

The comments are about on par with what one would expect from WingNutDaily. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were considerable overlap in readership between Pravda.ru and WingNutDaily. Here’s a pretty typical one:

Seeker World в 20:34 01 августа

Homosexuality -Proof Government Promotes Sickness. This is not “homophobic.” What homosexuals do is their business. This is about they pushing a destructive lifestyle on heterosexuals. Their satanically-inspired, social engineering is our business.  “Gay rights” and “Gay marriage” are a ruse to hide a deliberate attack on heterosexual norms.  Whether it is false flag state terrorism, vaccines or chemtrails, their agenda is to weaken, depopulate and enslave society. The promotion of homosexuality is designed to destroy the fundamental building block of a healthy society: the traditional family. The USofA is Morally bankrupt!

Chemtrails. Oy vey.

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“Disturbing”

I’ve written about MassResistance before. They’re an incredibly bigoted anti-gay organization in Massachusetts who are, for all intents and purposes, just big fat fucking sore losers who can’t handle the fact that gay marriage is legal in their state.

There are tons of bigots out there. But if anything really stands out about MassResistance, it’s just how up front they are about saying that they are oppressed by gays simply because gays exist and are gay in their presence. All bigots ultimately feel this way, but most try to hide it and fabricate nonsensical reasons for why they’re bigots. But not MassResistance. They object to gays existing at all, and that’s quite apparent in their coverage of a recent gay pride parade in Boston.

CAUTION: SOME OF THE PHOTOS BELOW MAY BE DISTURBING

Here’s what they mean by “disturbing”.

A person who's different from me. I'm disturbed.

A person who’s different from me. I’m disturbed.

Yep. The most disturbing photos they can come up with are men who dress like women. But to MassResistance, a man wearing a dress is just about the most horrifying thing in the universe. In fact, they want to make sure we all know that a man wearing a dress is THE primary thing that frightens them.

Making a dysfunctional and dangerous behavior the “new normal”

If the transgender movement achieves its goals, this is what people in your businesses, government offices, classrooms, and public facilities will look like — whether you like it or not.

BELOW: These are all MEN

Men might wear dresses in your presence! Oh, the humanity!

Like I’ve said before, this is MassResistance’s fucking M.O. Merely existing while gay is an affront to them, and they routinely condemn gay people on no other basis than the fact that they aren’t hiding, ashamed, in the closet. But they go beyond that. Ed Brayton recently highlighted a MR article making excuses for Russian bigots who attacked gays for the “crime” of kissing in public.  And their bigotry goes even further than that. They recently posted a supportive article about legislation that’s on the verge of becoming law in Nigeria. Here’s what will happen if it is enacted:

Nigeria’s House of Representatives voted Thursday to ban gay marriage and outlaw any groups actively supporting gay rights, endorsing a measure that also calls for 10-year prison sentences for any “public show” of affection by a same-sex couple.

Just to be clear: Man wearing a dress? MassResistance calls this “Disturbing”. Russians physically assaulting people and Nigerians denying free speech and putting people in jail for 10 years just for kissing or hugging in public? MassResistance calls these atrocities “bold steps to fight back.”

There are fascists in America. People who think that violence is an appropriate response to a minority daring to be different in their presence. People who think that conformity should be enforced by law. People who think that disagreeing with them should be outlawed. People who think that the worst thing in the world is having to be in the presence of other people who don’t live the way they live.

I don’t use the word “fascist” lightly. In fact, I hate the fact that so many people use it loosely, and this might very well be the first time I’ve called someone fascist on this blog. But if anyone deserves to be called fascist, it’s MassResistance. They go well beyond the bigotry seen on most other fucking right wing dingleberry websites. They may not be fully fascist, but they definitely fall under the category that Umberto Eco called Ur-Fascism. Eco lists the traits of ur-fascism, and MassResistance meets them all:

  1. The Cult of Tradition (part of any movement to deny gay marriage)
  2. Rejection of modernism (a constant refrain is that the modern world has degenerated due to fags)
  3. Action without reflection (Supporting Russians who throw eggs at gays who kiss in public? Check.)
  4. Disagreement is treason (Supporting a Nigerian law that outlaws gay rights groups? Check.)
  5. Fear of difference (Duh. This is most of what they do.)
  6. Appeal to social frustration (They actually rationalize Nigeria’s law by saying Nigeria has an AIDS epidemic–never mind that most of those AIDS victims are straight)
  7. Obsession with conspiracy (The Boston parade is a conspiracy to promote transgenderism!)
  8. Enemies portrayed as both too strong and too weak (Gays are taking over! But they’re also degenerates who all die of AIDS!)
  9. Life is permanent warfare (Again, this is pretty much all anti-gay groups.)
  10. Contempt for the weak (MR actually argues that the gays who were assaulted in Russia INCITED violence against themselves merely by kissing.)
  11. Everyone is educated to become a hero (This goes hand in hand with the religious right’s persecution complex)
  12. Machismo (That man’s wearing a dress! Shame him!)
  13. Selective populism (Even the name MassResistance suggests this. They claim to speak for the masses. But they do so in order to crush a minority whom they despise, and the majority of Americans actually support gay rights. So they only speak for “the people” in their own twisted minds.)
  14. Newspeak (This is another one that’s so common on the religious right that it’s hard to find a religious right organization that doesn’t do it.)

MassResistance certainly isn’t the only group that fits this bill, but they are definitely one of the worst anti-gay groups–much worse than, say, NOM. Their complaint is that gays exist at all, and they have repeatedly endorsed violence and draconian tactics to address their complaint, and blamed such anti-gay violence on gays themselves. If they’re not already fascists, they’re uncomfortably close.

Couldn’t have said it better myself

More good news: Minnesota is set to become the 12th state to legalize gay marriage. We got the bigots on the run, people. And their own words about this issue indict them more than anything I could say about the issue.

Republican fucknut legislator Dan Hall of Minnesota wants the world to know what a hateful shit-biscuit he is. In doing so, he reveals the authoritarian fundamentalist mindset that all freedom-loving people are up against:

“Forcing others to give you your rights will never end well,” said Sen. Dan Hall, a Republican and a pastor. “It won’t give you the recognition you desire.”

Hear that, folks? A vote held by a democratically elected state legislature is “forcing” the bigots to give you “your rights.” You really can’t make it any more clear who’s on the right side and who’s on the wrong side of this issue.

Well, maybe you can…

Hall said gay marriage supporters have told him he’s on the wrong side of history but, he said, “the truth is I’m more concerned about being on the right side of eternity.”

Sen. Hall, let me be the one to explain to you why we’re winning: History is REAL.

The bigots just can’t help themselves…

News broke today that the Minnesota House of Representatives passed a bill that would legalize gay marriage. Now it goes to the state Senate on Monday, and then to the governor, who has said he will sign it if the Senate passes it. With Maryland, Maine and Washington passing gay marriage last year, and Delaware, Rhode Island and possibly Minnesota and Illinois this year, the tide has clearly turned on this issue and gay marriage is now on the offensive rather than on defense. Which is a wonderful, awesome fucking thing!

But you know something about bigots? They tend to be sore fucking losers and whiny little shits. Hell, there are still people in the South who can’t get over the fact that they lost the Civil fucking War, and when I was growing up in Oklahoma there were still nitwits (including several in my own family) who hadn’t gotten over school de-segregation.

And so with the announcement that Minnesota is now on the path to finally treating gays like human beings with equal rights, the bigots feel the need to use the power of the internet to let everyone who reads the USA Today article linked above what brain dead butt sniffers they are. (Quick note: USA Today’s formatting on their website is horrendously ugly. I don’t know who designed it, but they should be fired.) Here’s a sampling of the type of comments that one can expect to find on just about any article about people treating gays as equals.

Edward Brantley · Top Commenter · Gibbs High School

OH Boy! You can really smell the KY jelly burning now.

As we all know, homosexuals live lives of constant, uninterrupted buttfucking. If a gay man removes his cock from an asshole for even a moment, it creates a rift in space time that consumes all of the universe.

Edward here is pretty typical. Whenever a god-humper hears about homosexuality, their mind immediately defaults to the Buttfucking setting. They seem to think that’s all there is to gay people’s lives, and that gay people are just as obsessed with sex as they are.

Kevin P Hawkins · Top Commenter · Utep

Morally this is appauling. Regardless that I find homosexuality perverse and immoral. They should be entitled to the same benefits that married people have. While I disagree that they should give them the status of marriage. THey should get an official endorsement to their union…

Well, I find the Bible to be rather apPAULing too (see what I did there?).  Although it is somewhat refreshing to see the vestiges of a reasoning brain poking through the thick, obstreperous scar tissue of religious indoctrination that Kevin has been given in place of a functioning brain. Maybe someday he’ll realize that calling harmless relationships “appauling” is just as ludicrous as seeking to prevent them. Maybe.

Horest Alers · Top Commenter

Homosexuality is destructive to a stable , moral society , why should it be encouraged by allowing it to be given equal status? Let the perverts keep their sins in private until judgement day and their time in Hell.

Horest, unfortunately, is more typical. People like Horest are why we can’t have nice things in this country.

Kevin P Hawkins · Top Commenter · Utep

Iamnot Theuniverse so being against a perverse and immoral choice of lifestyle is socially ignorant? IF you mean by shielding my family from socializing with those who behave in an unexceptable manner than I consider that a complement…

Damn it, Kevin. Here I was trying to be nice to you and commend you for showing at least a modicum of decency, and then you go and say something so stupid and hateful that I feel morally obliged to call you an assface.  Seriously, how is this any different from the people in the old South who felt the need to “shield” their pretty little white daughters from those dirty black men who just can’t help but rape helpless white women? Gay people are people. Like, human beings. They’re not dangerous to you or anyone else. Get your fucking head out of your fucking ass, you bigoted cocksucker.

Horest Alers · Top Commenter

All the sick godless perverts are finally getting their way with gutless, godless lawmakers. Just keep lowering the moral level of America folks. Whats the next sin to be encouraged? We have easy abortion, divorce, fornication , cohabitation, sodomy , free porn on the web, vulgar and blasphemous language and perverted sex on tv. Satan is really loving the USA these days. We should take ‘ In God we trust’ off our money because its obvious as a nation we do not.
This is one of those situations where someone accidentally says something reasonable for wholly unreasonable reasons. Yes, we should in fact remove God from our money. But simply because he doesn’t belong there at all. Not everyone trusts in god, and our money should reflect that.

And if there is a Satan, I hope he does love the USA. God’s an asshole, and, as Bill Hicks said, at least Satan fucking jams.

Sabrina Akins · Top Commenter · Administrative at Federal Contractor

Not everyone follows your version of Diety.And I thank the Lord & Lady everyday I live in a country where that is the case.

Horest Alers · Top Commenter

Unfortunately yes. But God ( Jesus ) is God and his word is true whether you believe it or not.

As Sabrina is unfortunately learning, arguing with a god-humper is like arguing with a broken calculator. You could try carefully explaining to it that what it says is wrong, but when you push its buttons it’ll just spew out the same bullshit without any regard to what you just said, because that’s all it knows how to do.

David Bell · Top Commenter · Ashburn, Virginia

Such a sad, sad day in the U.S.

Jesus fuck. I actually had to wipe huge crocodile tears off my screen after reading that one. Yes, David, it’s so sad that people you don’t know and who’ll have no effect on you will have the same rights as you. Sad, sad, sad.

Joshua Hoyle · A Beka Academy Homeschool

First off, i would like to scold the Hetrosexuals and the Christians who have acted foolishly and unkindly to homosexuals in this conversation. Yes, the truth must be pointed out, but dont forget that all men are equally depraved, because at our core being we are most wicked (some just have decided to cultivate their depravity a little more than others). Concerning homosexuality: One, It does in fact, uproot the establishment of the home. A simple study of History will prove this. Two, It does decrease comfortable, vibrant living in the long run (again, a simple study of history will explain this). Three, I would like to ask a homosexual one question: Have you ever in your lifetime experienced or seen any form of sexual promiscuity, or a form of abuse, whether sexual or emotional (i.e., an abusive father [sexually and/or violently], absent father, sexually promiscuous father, angry father, uncaring father)? Four, Homosexuality is Biblically described as Sodomy. If you are Homosexual and you still believe the Bible is true, please, look into the Scriptures and understand that that is no way of living, and that it is in fact, sin.
Read Romans one, read the Law (the Pentateuch), or look at history and you will see that all societies that embraced that lifestyle crumbled at an alarming pace. Acient Rome, for example, decreased in morality first; it then decayed in its Leadership and National strength. I care about God’s creation, mankind. I care about all homosexuals; therefore i cannot allow my fellow man be decieved. Look to your Creator, men.

Another comment that starts out looking almost vaguely like something a sane person might call reasonable, but then rapidly plunges into a morass of madness and inanity. The god-humper’s brain is like poor Sisyphus, forever doomed to push the boulder of an idea up the mountain of reason, and just when it looks like he might reach the top–WHAM! The boulder falls back and disappears into the depths of stupidity, where the beleaguered brain must sadly follow to retrieve it.

A student of history can easily see where Joshua’s thinking falls apart. It was actually after the Roman Empire was converted to Christianity that things really began to go south with them. “Morals” had less to do with it than bad planning and leadership, anyways. And many civilizations, such as ancient Greece, were thriving during a time when homosexuality was quite commonplace. There is no evidence from history that homosexuality does any damage to a civilization.

But then, who needs evidence when you’ve got so many people to hate and disparage?

All the kewl kids are bigots

Hey, kewl kids! I’m hep wit da lingo, yo, and I wanna tell you dudes about all the krunk shiznit my dawg Jesus be doin’, yo! If you wanna be da Big Dawg, you gotta be down wit da Lynch Mawb, yo! Word to yo’ mama, bitch! Those whack liberals be trippin, yo, if they ain’t down wit da rope, dawgz! Lynchin’ nigs iz DA BOMB, y’all! Jesus loves lynching, homies!

I presume the above wasn’t enough to convince anybody that lynching is the hip, cool thing to do. I presume this because I don’t think people are utter morons who need to be lead around like sheep. But that’s because I’m not Christian.

Basically any time society decides that some practice is a backwards, cruel relic of a more ignorant time that should be abandoned, someone will come along to try to make it “cool” again. I can’t imagine how it could ever work, and know of no instance where it has, but making outdated, boring, bigoted crap out to be the hip cool thing is a common pass time amongst conservatives who just can’t deal with the fact that society (like almost everything else) changes over time, but also don’t want to be viewed as a complete fossil by the under-30 crowd.

Enter this douche-toaster:

His name is Doug Giles, and unfortunately he’s not nearly as cool as that other Giles, despite being much younger. No, this Giles is senior pastor at Clash Church (apparently Rob Liefeld consulted on the name). This is how he describes himself at his TownHall.com profile:

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at ClashDaily.com. Watch him on ClashTV. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter. And check out his NEW BOOK, Sandy Hook: When Seconds Count, Police Are Minutes Away.

“Big Dawg”. Jesus titty balls, do I hate these guys. The “hip” preachers, the ones who try to make Christianity out to be something other than the outdated, irrelevant superstition that it is.  When I was a kid and my parents forced me to go to church, our youth group was subjected to endless amounts of simpering, pandering horseshit from these types, and endless amounts of inane praise “music” cynically designed to mimic modern pop music without any of that nasty nuance or originality or creativity. These guys are an utterly empty marketing ploy more ill conceived, out-of-touch and downright cringe-inducing than McDonalds’ infamous I’d Hit It campaign. Honestly, I’d rather listen to one of the stodgy old preachers and the classic hymns than have to spend five minutes around one of these types.

Religion is not, nor will it ever be, hip. It’s not cool. It’s not edgy. It’s not. It’s just not. Religion is everything old and backwards and boring and patronizing. It’s the apotheosis of the status quo, the lionization of the imagined past, the bulwark against which anything new or progressive or challenging or groundbreaking must contend. Religion is Spam, station wagons, public lynchings and “Damn kids get off my lawn” all rolled up into one big, greasy, hypocritical wad of irrational dogma. Wearing sunglasses and calling yourself “dawg” won’t change that. You’re not hip. You’re lame. Deal with it.

But of course, he won’t. Rather, he’ll write insufferable op-eds at Town Hall full of hamfisted humor and confabulated coolness to try to convince the millennial generation that all the kewl kids want to interfere with gay peoples’ relationships.

The other day I was on a radio show being interviewed about my new Sandy Hook Massacre book when the conversation turned to gay marriage. I’m sitting there thinking, “Huh?” … “I didn’t sign up to talk about gay marriage” … “Good Lord, man, I’d rather watch Yoko Ono do an interpretive dance to “Riders on the Storm” then yap about two big lesbians wanting to get hitched.”

Huh huh. It’s funny ’cause they’re fat. And gay. Gayfat is funny. Huh huh.

Number One. Before I directly address the gay marriage issue, allow me to state that I care more about the $16.7 trillion in debt that our nation’s mired in, our evaporating Bill of Rights and national security issues than I do whether or not Brad and Chad can be betrothed. Call me selfish and ill focused.

Okay. You’re selfish and ill focused.  Talking about gay marriage doesn’t stop you from also talking about other (real or imagined) problems. And the fact that you’re writing an entire article on gay marriage makes me suspect that your claim that you don’t want to talk about it is disingenuous at the very least. But more importantly, the reason you don’t want to talk about it is that you want to be able to outlaw someone’s basic rights without ever having to justify your actions to the public. You don’t want to talk about it because it’s easier to oppress a minority when no one talks about them. So, yes, you’re selfish and ill focused. You’re also an assfuck.

In addition, I told my host that, as long as we have men and women in harms way who have to ration food, fuel and ammo due to the sequestration, I don’t give a rat’s backside about gay marriage. I’m so mean, eh?

Listen, right wing nuts. We need to get something straight. Do you, or do you not, support budget cuts? It seems like you’re always asking for them, but then when they come (along with the loss of jobs that always coincides with budget cuts) you suddenly start bitching and moaning about how horrible budget cuts are.

You got what you asked for. The government slashed the budget. People lost their jobs as a result. This is what you wanted. Stop fucking crying about it.

With that said, I went on to inform Mr. Radio Show Host, that if he really wants to get down to brass tacks regarding where I stand on the gay marriage issue, well then, here it is: I am against gay marriage, especially Liza Manelli’s former marriage to David Getz. That was the gayest thing that I have ever seen in my life and it should have never happened.

Sigh… This is just getting tedious.

Not knowing why he was so interested in the gay marriage debacle I asked him, “Why do you care? Do you want to marry a man or something? Do you think you got a shot at Ryan Seacrest?” He was speechless.

“Speechless” is the hip new lingo for this:

https://i2.wp.com/fc09.deviantart.net/fs50/f/2009/330/2/a/Facepalm_by_iceman_3567.jpg

As our segment was wrapping up I told him if he wanted someone on his show that’s a staunch supporter of gay marriage then he should invite on some divorce lawyers because they can’t wait for the gay marriages to get a-crankin’.

That’s funny, seeing as divorce lawyers tend to be busiest in states like Oklahoma, where gay marriage is illegal and churches are more common than Starbucks and red dirt. (I don’t say this to demean Oklahoma–I love my home state. I just wish it didn’t contain so many hypocrites and morons.)

In all seriousness, I’m kind of torn on the gay marriage issue

How long is this “seriousness” thing going to last?

I’m split between Ted Nugent’s take on homo-matrimony and Jesus Christ’s opinion on the issue.

Not even one sentence, I see.

Nugent told me a few years back that he didn’t mind gay marriage if: A). We didn’t call it marriage. B). We didn’t have to pay for it via our tax dollars and C). it was only between two good-looking lesbians.

This is why A) nobody gives a fuck about Nugent, B) I wish our tax dollars didn’t go to either of his two marriages (but nobody ever asked me–at least he only married 2 out of the 4 women he’s had children with…), and C) telling the same joke for a 1,067th time doesn’t make it funny.

Hmmm. Interesting, Uncle Ted but what would Jesus do? What’s Christ’s take on the gay marriage conundrum?

No, let’s go back to Nugent. I can almost take him seriously.

I’d like to know because, as a Christian, I probably ought to listen more to Jesus than to the “Motor City Mad” man on such a serious issue, right? Right.

Wrong. You shouldn’t listen to either of them.

According to Matthew 19:4-6 Jesus said, many moons ago when He was walking the mean streets of Galilee, that marriage is a union that God ordained between a man and a woman. He said it. I didn’t. So, if you’re going to get pissy then take it up with the Son of God.

How ’bout I take it up with the bloviating frat boy douchenozzle insisting that I should give a fuck about what this alleged “Son of God” had to say at all?

Now, I would remind those who supposedly take their cue from Jesus that there were gay dudes and dudettes around Him in His day.

Ugh. Just ugh. You are not hip, motherfucker. Stop trying. I’m only 31, and already I’m old enough to know better than to try and talk this way. Just give it up, “dawg”.

It’s not like homosexuality just started showing up during Liberace’s lifetime.

Holy shit balls! Liberace was gay! That’s such a clever pop culture reference!

Gays have been around since the dawn of man. Matter of fact, I think that was the name of the first gay rock band.

Can we please just go back to Ted Nugent? He’s a piece of shit and all, but at least he’s unintentionally funny sometimes. This shit is just becoming intolerable.

Indeed, several cities such as Sodom and Gomorrah celebrated homosexuality, as did ancient Greece and Rome. By the way, what ever happened to those cities and cultures?

They declined, as all cultures eventually do. The decline had nothing to do with homosexuality. In fact, the Roman Empire’s decline actually coincided with its widespread acceptance of Christianity. Not that you care about stupid, uncool things like facts.

The God of Love said, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, in the midst of a culture that contained gays, that when it comes down to what constitutes a marriage in God’s eyes, well … that would be a union that is fundamentally betwixt a guy and a girl.

Lo, doth he bravely proclaim the majority opinion in a society where a minority doth have the temerity to exist! And in public!

But then again … what does Jesus know? Heck … He can’t be smarter than a postmodern twenty-something, can He? Surely, He’s not keener than a radical Leftist. Jesus couldn’t have been shrewder than say, Rosie O’Donnell when it comes to the divine pattern prescribed for the continuity of God’s created order for humanity, right? Huh?

He was certainly not as smart as Thomas Jefferson, and yet Jefferson owned slaves. The man was a product of his times, and no matter how smart he was, he was still wrong on many issues. There’s no reason to think Jesus had any special insights on sexual politics in the 21st century; just like Socrates, smart as he may have been, is not a very good source for erudition on modern geopolitics. And what the fuck is “the divine pattern prescribed for the continuity of God’s created order for humanity”? Theology seems to give people this weird predilection for lapsing into laughable prolixity whenever they want to say something like “Fuck fags” or “Bitches need to get back in the kitchen.”

So, what do you guys think? Was Jesus out to lunch on what constitutes a marriage in God’s eyes or what?

Yes. His lunch was penis.

With all that said, how effectively is Doug Giles reaching America’s youth? Let’s look at some comments on his op-ed…

Ann Anon Wrote: 12 minutes ago (8:57 PM)

 Imagine; in the 50’s I stopped some of my girlfriends from speculating on the relationship between our girl team’s two coaches who were ah, roommates and the subject of homosexuality. A suspicion like that would get them both fired. I told them it was a terrible thing to accuse two nice ladies of without any more proof than a lease in common. They agreed and never mentioned it again. I thought I was really brave to stand up to my fellow students. And now in the year 2013 that makes me a homophobe.
I see he’s locked in the crucial Under 80 demographic.
Georgetwin-In-Pa Wrote: 2 hours ago (6:57 PM)

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!The FAT PIG, Rosie O’Doughnuts is ALREADY divorced!!!http://www.ihatethemedia.com/rosie-odonnell-kelli-carpenter
Bwahahaha! That totally validates Nugent’s multiple marriages!
uvuvuv Wrote: 3 hours ago (5:41 PM)

if the gays are so wildly accepted, where are the movies? the silly comedy romances? if they were truly so accepted the theaters would have lines 2 blocks long for the gay loves gay movies. so far all we had was broken back mountain. one movie.
The pop culture knowledge is strong with this crowd. I’d tell them about my favorite gay movie, Room in Rome, but I’m having trouble shouting over the gigantic erection I get every time I watch it.
uvuvuv Wrote: 3 hours ago (5:36 PM)

gays are mutants and i think if we throw society over to them we might as well have 6 fingers pride parades or spinal bifida studies in the public schools starting with kindergarten. churches can welcome their new cystic fibrosis members, and the muscular dystrophy legation can petition for acceptance in the nba. after all, fair is fair.
Dear Doug Giles,
This is your audience. You brought this on yourself.
Sincerely,
Wes
P.S. Go fuck yourself.

America: Teabagged by God

Over at the WingNutDaily, legendary deep thinker Pat Boone has copiously spewed forth once again on gay marriage, and gifted us with yet another nuanced and erudite rumination on sexual politics in America.

LAW OF THE LAND

Still one nation under God, or not?

Exclusive: Pat Boone prays for ‘9 humans who will decide future of America’

When WingNutDaily calls an article “exclusive”, it can mean only one of three things:
  1. It’s not actually exclusive, and a dozen other websites are reporting it.
  2. It’s actually a thinly disguised advertizement for some charlatan “natural” cure or survivalist claptrap.
  3. It’s an op-ed so stupid, crazy, malevolent, incoherent and/or pointless that no one else would dream of publishing it.
This is definitely an instance of case #3.
Would you allow a doctor, no matter his credentials, to infuse you with pig blood?
Wait, I thought this was about gay marriage… Is pig blood code for dick?
My mother, herself a trained registered nurse, received a pig valve in her heart in her ’80s, and it apparently extended her life to almost 91.
So your mom’s gay? What the hell are you babbling about, Pat?
But pig blood? In her veins, mixing her human blood with that of a pig?
You’re fine with tissue, but incredulous about blood. Okay. Where is this going?
Never! And no doctor worthy of his certificate would ever suggest it.
Fine. I won’t infuse you with pig blood, or dick, or whatever it is you’re going on about.
Why? Because human beings are created different from other animal forms. While we can accept blood from other humans, we dare not corrupt or pollute our human blood with that of any other life form.
A few points:
  1. Ever heard of blood types? You can’t take just any human blood and put it in anybody else.
  2. You can’t put walrus blood in a yak, either. And I don’t see sharks being very receptive to a pig blood transfusion. The immune system would reject it. The fact that you can’t put just any blood in our veins doesn’t exactly make us special.
  3. What the fuck exactly is your point?

Our DNA forbids it, and it’s not negotiable. Messing with our created state is deadly.

Then why are the pig valves okay? Did the DNA just get sloppy?

What is America’s DNA?

An overplayed, Ur-Fascist and essentialist metaphor abused by self-righteous nationalists to disenfranchise those who supposedly aren’t American enough?

“We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” – Thomas Jefferson, Declaration of Independence

Catch that word, their “Creator”? Our founders knew – and publicly proclaimed – that our rights, and life itself, flowed directly from the power and benevolence of our Creator!

Actually, it’s just a bit of rhetorical flourish that you’re reading way too much into.

And that a democratic republic, unprecedented in human history, must be comprised of, and governed by, individuals who would diligently endorse and obey the rules laid out by that Creator for the continuance of that free society.

Again, a few points:

  1. America was not the first democracy or the first republic or the first mixture of the two. There are these things called Greece and Rome you might want to look into.
  2. If you actually read what the founders such as Jefferson and Madison wrote (rather than just regurgitating fake or out-of-context quotes you get from frauds like David Barton), you’d realize that they were keenly aware of the fact that the will of the “creator” differs depending on whom you ask.
  3. Again, is there a point to any of this?

There was no other way to perpetuate our new liberties, including equality for all citizens.

Yes, all the citizens get equally butt-fucked by the patriarchal Christian tyrant in power.

That way was based completely on the Bible, and on the precepts God had revealed unmistakably in His Book. Without the Bible, we would never have had our Constitution.

In fact, the Bible is so important to the Constitution that it is mentioned nowhere in the Constitution, and the drafters of the Constitution actively resisted attempts to put religious language in the document.

The signers of the Constitution knew that full well. Has anybody ever informed you that virtually all the 55 writers and signers of the United States Constitution of 1787 were members of Christian denominations?

Has anybody ever informed you that literally all of them were wealthy white males, and many of them owned slaves? If the fact that most were Christian means that Christians should dominate everything, then the fact that they were also wealthy white male slave owners should mean that we should role back rights for women, blacks and the poor, right?

Some revisionists today want you to believe otherwise. When I talked about this with Bill Maher, a cynical unbeliever, he sent me an Los Angeles Times article declaring that all the framers were deists or outright atheists, not Christians.

I responded, drawing his attention to the byline, attributing the distortion of facts to a member of an atheist organization who deliberately lied, ignoring the historically recorded truth.

It’s by an atheist, so it must be false!

The truth is that the Founders were much more diverse than either Maher or Boone realize. There probably were very few outright atheists, but they certainly weren’t uniformly orthodox Christians. Many were Deists or very liberal Unitarians. Many rejected the divinity of Christ and the reality of miracles. Many viewed the Bible as a collection of useful moral tales rather than actual truth. However, it is also true that many really were devout Christians who believe all the stupid dogshit that Christians believe.

The point is that no one can claim that The Founders were a monolithic group that is totally in line with exactly what anyone believes in 2013. No one gets to claim the Founders as their endless allies.

I also sent him a quote from John Jay, appointed by President George Washington as the first chief justice of the Supreme Court, who helped form the Constitution itself:

“Providence (God) has given to our people the choice of their rulers,
And it is the duty, as well as the privilege and interest of our
Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.”

Why? Because it was Christians, guided by the Judeo-Christian Bible, who created the profound document guaranteeing liberty and equality to all, including atheists. They were – and are – the veins through which the blood of freedom flows!

First off, let’s look at some of the context for that quote, from Wikipedia:

Religion

Jay was a member of the Church of England, and later of the Protestant Episcopal Church in America after the American Revolution. Since 1785, Jay had been a warden of Trinity Church, New York. As Congress’s Secretary for Foreign Affairs, he supported the proposal after the Revolution that the Archbishop of Canterbury approve the ordination of bishops for the Episcopal Church in the United States.[27]He argued unsuccessfully in the provincial convention for a prohibition against Catholics holding office.[28]

Jay believed that the most effective way of ensuring world peace was through propagation of the Christian gospel. In a letter addressed to Pennsylvania House of Representatives member John Murray, dated October 12, 1816, Jay wrote, “Real Christians will abstain from violating the rights of others, and therefore will not provoke war. Almost all nations have peace or war at the will and pleasure of rulers whom they do not elect, and who are not always wise or virtuous. Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty, as well as the privilege and interest, of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.”[29]

[Emphasis added]

We can learn a few things from this.

  1. The attitude which John Jay was expressing failed to prevail, since the Constitution explicitly prohibits having any religious test for office.
  2. John Jay had a rather naive view of history, seeing as Christian rulers have provoked war over and over and over throughout the entire existence of that noxious religion.
  3. John Jay seemed to have a view of “equality” similar to Boone’s, which boils down to “Christians are better than everyone else, so all non-Christians get to be equally pushed around and disenfranchised by Christians.”
  4. The mere fact that John Jay said something doesn’t make it law.

And the blood of freedom is the Word and will of God.

No. Whenever someone brings up the “word of god”, it is almost always something along the lines of “Believe this, without evidence, or else.” That is not freedom.

So what’s my point? I hope it’s obvious.

That’s some funny shit right there.

Just as your body, and mine, is created to run on one fuel – and only one – so our America was created to operate on only one set of principles. They are our very DNA. And those principles are found only in the Bible. Yes, the Bible.

Yes, the Bible. Where God orders his chosen people to commit genocide, slavery, rape, polygamy, torture, and a host of other things that are part of our principles.

And can we at least start circling around something vaguely resembling a point at some juncture in this article?

“Separation of church and state?” Take the “church,” the institution that promulgates Bible principles, out of the “state” – and you will not have the “state” called America. It will be something else (and some today seem to prefer it), but it will not – could not – be the America that became the greatest nation in history.

Except for the part that that’s exactly what it would be. It wasn’t the Bible that created our vast industrial system, our scientific excellence or our gradual march towards expanding civil rights to more and more Americans.

Our Supreme Court is faced right now with its greatest challenge, ever.

Because whatever topic I’m discussing at the moment is, in my goldfish-like mind, the most important thing that ever happened!

By June, concerning the very definition of marriage, nine human beings will decide whether we remain “one nation under God,” governed by the God who created us and them – or take on a new fuel, the treacherous, fickle, amoral “popular opinion,” a synthetic mixture of poll results, ignorance of unchangeable biblical principle and outright hedonistic rebellion.

Yeah, fuck democracy!

Don’t you right-wingers usually say that the Supreme Court is evil because it (sometimes) overrules the popular opinion? But now it’s evil because it might reach a decision that’s in line with popular opinion?

Why don’t you assholes just admit it? You hate the concept of an independent judiciary. You hate the concept of Americans reaching their own conclusions about other Americans rather than just accepting what your church tells them to think about others. You hate the fact that most people don’t give a flying fuck about your superstitions. You hate the fact that the things that are most important in your lives don’t mean shit to the rest of us. You hate the fact that you’re losing the so-called “culture war”. And you hate the fact that the very constitutional republic you pretend to idolize is your #1 enemy in all of this. You just hate the fact that the American people have a voice, and your voice is a tiny, screechy, obnoxious minority in it.

Already this court has ruled against equality, dictating that innocent babies still in their mothers’ wombs have fewer rights than their mothers. And in so doing, they’ve ruled against life itself – at least for the near 60 million babies aborted since their infamous decision in 1973.

Actual living, breathing, feeling, thinking women should be beholden to undeveloped fetuses that don’t even have higher brain functions yet. You know. “Equality”.

If you have any knowledge at all of our Founding Fathers’ intentions and guiding principles, can you seriously imagine their considering marriage, even for a second, as anything but the union of a man and a woman?

I can seriously imagine them thinking that it’s okay to own another human being. I can also seriously imagine them thinking that a marriage is only between a man and a woman of the same race. Because that’s exactly what they did. Why should I have to align every belief I have with theirs?

Were they stupid or naïve or ignorant about human inclinations?

No, but you are. They were a product of their time. You are a sad, pathetic twat trying desperately to pretend you don’t live in yours.

And as true now as then, our concepts of morality and virtue come directly from God, through His Bible. That’s undeniable.

It’s totally deniable. “Deniable” and “Morals come from the Bible” are so close they might as well be gay fuck-buddies. Every Christian on Earth, including Holy Pat himself, denies it every day. No one has ever actually derived their moral system from the Bible. They instead adopt the moral system of those around them, and then shoehorn Bible verses into it.

His love is universal, for all of us.

God loves you. And he created a place of eternal torment where you’re destined to go if you don’t believe in him. Because that’s how love works.

But His blessings are promised only to those who honor and obey His Word.

Because that’s how you treat people you love!

When a society decides to substitute its collective will for His, it changes its spiritual and moral DNA – like pumping pig’s blood into human veins.

Again, a few things:

  1. The collective will is this thing we call democracy. Get used to it.
  2. “His” will always seems to coincide with the prejudices of whatever old white male happens to be speaking. Can’t help but notice that “He” doesn’t actually pipe up very often.
  3. Putting the blood of another species in your body won’t change your DNA, you fucking dumbshit. Your analogy sucks.

People, we must pray, and pray very earnestly, for the nine human beings who will soon decide the future of America. Only if we remain “one nation under God” will we long survive.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Anyways, let’s take the obligatory look at what the commenters at WingNutDaily have to say on this topic.

nolejoea day ago

Decent NORMAL people don’t get sexually excited over people who are of their same sex. Mentally deranged perverts do.

BobCactusFlower William Wilson5 hours ago

You mean those NORMAL people, who, when constantly confronted by a deviant sexual behavior, find anal sex between perverts ABNORMALLY disgusting?

Nope. That’s as normal as (blechh) apple pie. It’s just that the perverts are still PERVERTS and rather than be legalized, they should be caged and retrained like the filthy animals that they are.

No need to thank me!

Equality! Biblical morality! Universal love!

proclaimingGodsTruth12 hours ago

I think judgment has already come to America; only now the judgments are increasing. The fabric of America’s Christian heritage is coming apart at the seams. We are on the verge of a huge financial collapse that will devastate this land.

It’s time to get right with God, it’s time to proclaim Him in the streets, in the churches, among family – everywhere! God means business – He doesn’t joke, kid around or play games.

We’ve got over 3,000 years of people saying this shit. The well’s gotta run dry at some point, right?

Nottolate buzz13195011 hours ago

When the framers of the Constitution spoke of freedom of religion, they were referring to Christianity only. How do we know? First, the majority of them were Christians (some deist mixed in). Second, other religions were not present in the land at the time. Third, what does that have to do with what I wrote? I spoke on the issue of gay marriage and not freedom of religion.

Can’t argue with that non-reasoning!

BobCactusFlower buzz1319505 hours ago

Brilliant assessment of American founding principles notwithstanding, this country remains OURS and when you try to take it from us, you’re going to find out just how much freedom of worship costs to create and keep.

You’re going to find out that it takes a lot more than a couple of filthy communists in the White House to make God’s people accept sexual perversion, murder, and open worship of satan and your other pals….lol

Freedom for all, as long as you recognize that this country is OURS and you can fuck off!

Larry Bohannon Michael Leone11 hours ago

I can tell that you are ignorant public school student. [sic] You don’t even know the difference between “you are” and your. [sic] Why should we even listen to foolish talk. [sic]

There’s this thing you should look out for when correcting the grammar of others…

Chris Farrell Michael Leone5 hours ago

Where did you gather that the Christians only argument against so-called “gay” marriage is that “Jesus doesn’t like it?”

Marriage, to a Christian, is a covenant in which one man and one woman enter into with God.

I couldn’t possibly have gathered it from exactly what you’re saying.

BobCactusFlower Michael Leone5 hours ago

lol…….get MARRIED to a pervert homosexual? (yeah, you call them gay, but I have YET to see one even marginally cheerful)

That’s probably because they’re stuck being around you.

02word6 hours ago

As one judge said, the gay rights/same sex marriage people haven’t even been around (I mean come out) for but a few years. It’s a made up excuse to push their beliefs into society.

Yeah, fuck them! Only an asshole would do that! Now let’s get back to that part where freedom of religion only applies to Christians and America’s laws all have to be based on the particular Biblical exegesis of a small number of self-righteous bigots.