Juxtaposition

WorldNetDaily (WND) may not always come right out and say it, but they have ways to let you know where they stand. These two articles were posted right next to each other in their “Faith” section today:

Hitler was a Catholic who invoked Jesus' name in Mein Kampf. Gays were persecuted in the Holocaust, like Jews. Therefore, Christians are associated with persecuting both gays and Jews. Therefore, Christians get a bad name and people criticize them. Therefore, Christians are the real victims.

Hitler was a Catholic who invoked Jesus’ name in Mein Kampf. Gays were persecuted in the Holocaust, like Jews. Jews support gays, which is an opinion different from Christians’ opinion, and one which happens to involve two groups of Holocaust victims.  Therefore, Christians are associated with persecuting both gays and Jews. Therefore, Christians get a bad name and people criticize them. Therefore, Christians are the real victims.

Good thing they underlined Christians and put “gay” in scare quotes, just in case the juxtaposition wasn’t clear enough. WingNutDaily knows who the REAL victims of the Holocaust were! You just gotta read between the scare quoted underlines.

The comments on the ‘Jews’ article make things even more clear.

signsofthetimes8888 • 

The serious question is how can any person who professes to believe in God also support gay marriage? This is absolute nonsense. Another question is are these polls correct? If most Americans don’t know about how polls are altered, fabricated, rigged, how they are used for propaganda, and how they are used to push the liberal lunatic agenda then America is a country of pure stupid. Supposedly of all races it was the Jews who came out in an extraordinarily large percentage to vote for the current dictator in chief Obozo. So if all of this is true then American Jews are just shooting themselves in the foot and if this is true then they don’t bare much resemblance to the Jews of Israel….

Nottolate • 

“76 percent of US Jews support legalizing same-sex marriage”

Looks like they still haven’t learned their lesson. Not that they are authentic Jews anyway.

DvoraChesed

In America, “Jews” and “Liberals” are nearly interchangeable terms.
There are many exceptions of course, but not nearly enough.
It is a sad truism that Jews embrace liberalism to the point of being suicidal.

sikhed DvoraChesed • 

From reading the Old Testament, and also seeing how they’ve been treated historically, a real Jew would/should be quite conservative.

They’re not Real Jews ™. They’re those fake American Jews, who aren’t nearly as Jewy as those authentic Israeli Jews. (Except that gay marriage is gaining ground in Israel too–oops!) We know the Israeli Jews are real Jews because they kill more Arabs than those fake, gay American Jews. We’re WingNutDaily; our readers are smart and observant and totally not racist.

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Gullibility to Galilee

Le pompe des enterrements regarde plus las vanité des vivants que l’honneur des morts.

–François de la Rochefoucauld, Maximes et Réflexions diverses

“The pomp of funerals is more for the vanity of the living, than for the honor of the dead.” Some might fault de la Rochefoucauld’s typically French cynicism and snideness (I can’t even read the French text without adding a sneer to the voice), but like many cynical assholes, he’s right. Generally speaking, when people call you a cynical asshole, they’re accusing you of saying too many true things. Funerals really are more about tamping down our existential dread in the face of inevitable death rather than “honoring” whatever poor sap just kicked the bucket.

This is why we spend a bazillion dollars on tacky, pointless caskets, flowers, headstones, and needlessly funnel billions of dollars into America’s lucrative funeral industry. Grief is easy to exploit. If you’re interested in just how much it gets exploited in this country, I recommend the excellent Bullshit! episode called Death, Inc. Grief makes people stupid. The funeral industry knows how to make money off this grief-induced stupidity.

And as with any industry, they only strengthen their brand when they combine it Jeebus.

Want your ashes spread where Jesus walked?

By Sara Sidner, CNN

No.

Nobody should.

A new business called Holy Land Ash Scattering is targeting U.S. Christians as customers.

They may or may not be atheist moles trying to prove just how gullible Christians can be…

Company president Larry Deverett says he has found the perfect spot for people of the Christian faith to have their own or their loved ones cremated remains scattered.

The spot is located in a small garden in an orchard on a hill above the Sea of Galilee, the area where the New Testament says Jesus prayed, taught and performed many miracles including walking on water.

“I researched the market and found that there is a strong need and demand for this type of service and the No. 1 location on the planet, when you are talking about spirituality, is the Holy Land,” Deverett said.

Translation: I saw all these televangelists scamming their Christian sheep and thought, “Fuck, I could do that!”

Deverett knows there will always be potential clients. The funeral industry will always have a source of clients since we all have to go sometime, and many of us will likely have a funeral of some sort.

Kinda funny how “spirituality” and “crass, exploitative capitalism that doesn’t actually create any useful product or service” always seem to go hand in hand.

One reason for an upswing in cremations may be economics. Simply put, cremation is cheaper than a burial.

So let’s make it expensive again by adding “Transportation to fucking Jerusalem” to the package.

For $750 after cremation, you can have your ashes shipped and scattered near the “Jesus Trail,” where a bearded man resembling a person right out of the Bible performs a ceremony. It is all put on a DVD and sent to the family.

The Jesus Trail is much like the Treasure Trail. They’re both hairy and have a dick at the end.

And seriously, Christians. If you wonder why I don’t take you seriously when you speak of the profundity of “spirituality”, it’s because to you guys it includes watching a cheap DVD of some guy dressed as Moses poor your grandpappy’s ashes out in a spot that might have come into contact with Jesus’ foot fungus.

The company is looking into trying to do a live feed over the Internet so you can watch it in real time.

Can’t you people just watch porn like normal humans?

“It’s a great privilege to be able to do this act of loving kindness for our Christian brothers and sisters, ” said Benzion Lehrer, who says the prayer and scatters the ashes.

Translation: I’m rich, bitches!

Deverett is hoping to draw business from far and wide.

Sadly, he might actually pull that off.

But the President of Holy Land Ash Scattering can’t use the service for himself or his family. He is Jewish and adheres to the traditional belief that his faith forbids cremation.

So his company has even less integrity than Hair Club for Men.

One more thing: Shame on you, CNN. This is not a news article. It’s a fucking puff piece. I would not be shocked at all if Holy Land Ash Scattering paid for it. The only interviews are with people from the company, nothing but nice things are said, and not a hint of skepticism is expressed. I expect this kind of “advertizing masquerading as news” horseshit from WingNutDaily, but CNN is supposed to be an actual news outlet.

The thing is, I know why WND takes so many obvious scams and writes them up as “news”. It’s because they know their audience. The average WND reader is a daft, gullible, bigoted, paranoid, ignorant nincompoop with a severely restricted stream of incoming information. They fall for shit like this, and WND can profit from their credulity, so they do it. The obvious question we should ask now is: What does CNN believe about it’s own audience?

Good Ideas Don’t Need Death Threats to Protect Them

A group of Muslim extremists is demanding death for “insulting” their precious, delicate religious sensibilities. Must be Tuesday. Oh, wait, it’s Sunday. Guess it could be any day of the week, come to think of it.

Dhaka, Bangladesh (CNN) — Tens of thousands of radical Muslims marched toward the capital on Saturday to demand laws to target bloggers they said denigrated Islam and the Prophet Mohammed.

Muhammad must be a colossal wuss if he can’t handle a few bloggers making fun of him. Or could it be that Islam is all just complete bullshit unsupported by facts and reason (shock!), and the only way it can stand is by threatening and intimidating those who ask questions for which it has no answer?

Anyways, I’m 100% on the side of those bloggers.

The bloggers initiated a recent sit-in at Shahbagh Square demanding the death penalty for people involved in war crimes perpetrated more than four decades ago.

Okay, maybe not 100%.

Can we ever have a rally in a Muslim country that doesn’t involve calling for someone to be killed? That would be nice. Look, I’m all for punishing war crimes, but the death penalty is not the answer to all of our problems. Answering cruelty with more cruelty is not the right way to go.

But let’s also be careful not to equate what the bloggers are doing with what the Muslim extremists are doing. The bloggers are calling for the death penalty for war crimes. The extremists are calling for the death penalty for saying mean stuff. I’m not for the death penalty either way, but at least in the former case an actual crime was committed.

Muslim hard-liners under the banner of Hefazat-e-Islam on Saturday rallied against bloggers and authors.

Poverty. Starvation. Violence. Crime. Communicable diseases. Illiteracy. Superstition. Misogyny/rape culture. Ethnic hatred. Under-funded schools… What? Oh, sorry. I was just making a list of the problems faced by a struggling, third world country like Bangladesh. I’ll let you know when I get to “bloggers and authors.” Infant mortality. The lingering effects of the 2005 tsunami. Unsafe work conditions in factories. Political corruption…

The Hefazat rally branded the government as cohorts of the atheists and said they wanted it to meet 13 demands, including reinstatement of “absolute trust and faith in the Almighty Allah” in the constitution and capital punishment for those who would denigrate Islam and its prophet.

The demands included declaration of the Ahmadiyya Muslim sect as non-Muslim, a ban on free mixing of men and women, making Islamic education mandatory at all levels and no installation of any sculpture in any public place.

That’s all a bunch of oppressive bullshit, but I’m almost with you on that last one. Wish more people were on board with that in my country, at least as far as publicly-funded property goes.

Speaking of my home country, let’s check in on how far we’ve come in our own struggle for civil rights and equality.

ROCHELLE, GA – …

Stephanie and Keela are white and Mareshia and Quanesha are black. They’re seniors at Wilcox County High School, a school that has never held an integrated prom during its existence.

“There’s a white prom and there’s an integrated prom,” said Keela.

The rule is strictly enforced, any race other than Caucasian wouldn’t dare to attend the white prom.

Sigh. It’s days like this that I just want to give up.

Oh, and hey, South, are you listening? I say this as a person who was a resident of you for many years: I want you to find every sharp object available and just ram it right up your tightly wound, bigoted asshole. Just fuck yourself with every sharp object known to man, and just keep doing it ’til you bleed out and die and let the rest of us finally try to make some real progress on racial equality in this country.

Segregated proms. In 2013. Fucking shameful.

The Protocols of the Elders of Lyin’

The right wing blame game continues, as conservative bigots everywhere struggle mightily to simultaneously believe two incompatible propositions:

1.) They lost the election.

2.) They were never mistaken about anything. Ever.

Who to blame for the loss today? JEWS! Yes, that’s right, Jews. Every bigot’s favorite scapegoat since…oh, let’s say about 2,000 BC.

When you see a headline at WingNutDaily that reads “70% of Jewish Population Voted for Obama”, you know this article is gonna go one of two ways: Either A.) It’ll be a fiery zionist, pro-Israel, anti-Palestinian diatribe, or B.) an anti-semitic tirade against the Christ-killin’, Manishevitz-swillin’ banking conspirators. And guess what? It’s both! Well, the article is Zionist, the commenters on the article are anti-semitic (mostly).

I find Zionism boring, since it’s pretty standard claptrap on the right wing these days, but outside of the hallowed halls of wingnut websites like WingNutDaily you don’t see tried and true anti-semite bigotry as often these days, so let’s take a look at a few of the comments.

Sloppo

It is important to remember that the Jews are a diverse group.  There are the true Jews who try to follow God’s commandments and there are the ones who say they are Jews, but are not and are the Synagogue of Satan (as referenced in Rev3:9).  As far as I have noticed, the Bible does not indicate whether or not the real Jews are more numerous than the fake ones.  I suppose we can make our own rough estimates by considering the percentages of Jews which vote for marxist despots, own more than 80% of the pornography and propaganda industries, and follow the Babylonian Talmud instead of the Torah.

There are the True Jews™, and then there are the ones who just converted for the jokes. Use the Karl Rove’s Ass Method of Statistical Analysis to figure out how many of each. It’s like the Chi-Squared method but much, much more unhygienic.

Jews are a wicked people, it is in their DNA, they divorced themselves from God long ago, Satan will destroy most of them until God intervenes at the very last moment, as he promised

If they divorced themselves from god, and they’re the children of God, then who does god pay child support to? And why’d he marry his children? Maybe the Mormons are right and heaven really is in Missouri.

Tawny

Alexander,
It is a lie that Christians persecuted Muslims.  Muslims invaded lands that were Christian and persecuted Christians sometimes with the help of Jews.  Please spare me the Christian persecution of Jews because it is so overblown and historically inaccurate as to portray Jews as the victims of Christians.  Jews did all they could to destroy Christianity and the Church did not or ever condone persecution of Jews.

Sloppo

Jews probably consider national expulsion to be “persecution” and Christians have expelled Jews from their countries many times.  As I understand it, Jews have been expelled from countries more than 100 times.  On the other hand, considering the fact that 70% of Jews in America just voted for a government of theft (marxism), I can understand why some people might not want that influence in their country.

Yeah, that whole Holocaust thing was really overblown, am I right? And Martin Luther, the founder of Protestantism, writing in On The Jews and Their Lies calling

  1. for Jewish synagogues and schools to be burned to the ground, and the remnants buried out of sight;
  2. for houses owned by Jews to be likewise razed, and the owners made to live in agricultural outbuildings;
  3. for their religious writings to be taken away;
  4. for rabbis to be forbidden to preach, and to be executed if they do;
  5. for safe conduct on the roads to be abolished for Jews;
  6. for usury to be prohibited, and for all silver and gold to be removed and “put aside for safekeeping”; and
  7. for the Jewish population to be put to work as agricultural slave labor

doesn’t mean the Jews were persecuted. It means Jesus loves them and everything Christians do, like murdering millions of Jews, is done in the name of love! And what kind of idiot would think that being forcibly ripped from your home and expelled from the country is persecution? It’s harmless. We call it Compulsory Vacation Time here in fascist dipshit land.

steadfast

Only after hours of prayer have I chosen to post on this subject again.
First off to everyone who’s maligned God because I agree with His Word, God bless you.
Secondly, and please take this to heart, I love you Jew or gentile, and God does too.
Thirdly, Sin killed Jesus.
Fourthly, Love raised Him again.

Fifthly, Yabba yabba wakka flocka flame a flip a doodly doo.

Or, that’s all I gather from it. Seriously, steadfast’s post goes on for several more paragraphs, but I challenge you to extract anything from it that even barely resembles a coherent thought.

Tawny

Alexander,
Well too bad you live in a country founded on Judeo-Christian Principals. If you were voting “the law of the land” which happens to be the constitution you would not be voting for Obama.  So you are a liar and not too smart.

Hate to break it to you birther types, but Obama’s presidency is constitutional. Judeo-Christian principals (whatever those are), when taken out of the private sphere and inserted into government, are not. And yet, I don’t declare you to be an America hating terrorist who will burn forever just for wanting something unconstitutional. I just think you’re ignorant and bigoted.

Jews have always hated Christians and have always done what they could to destroy it.  You will not prevail.
Myself, I have always respected the Jewish religion, I’m tolerant.

“Always” in this context should be understood as meaning “except in the previous two sentences obviously”.

Christians don’t support Israel for the Jews.  They support it for themselves.

True. What scares me is that I can’t tell if you think that’s a good or a bad thing.

No_BlahBlah

Anyone still wondering how the Jews in Germany could be surprised when they got off the boxcars that all that was in front of them were ovens?

No_BlahBlah just packed a lot of blah blah into one sentence.

christhered Collapse

Many a comment has been to put down the Jews for their voting practices, but here’s the thing, Abba God, The Lord God Almighty, the God of Israel knew who was going to win, indeed he planned it. So maybe HE told his people what to vote for, and they OBEYED him. I know that when ever I go to vote I first ask Abba God who HE has chosen and I vote for them.

Who ever the winner I want to be on Abba’s side.

Which is why I always write in “The Dancing Queen” on every ballot.

As a catholic it is true that only REAL CATHOLICS not Catholics in name only or someone who is baptized catholic but doesn’t “believe” its teachings would vote for Romney or abstain from voting because of Romney’s past stance on abortion and gay marriage.  Any so called catholic who voted for Obama is NOT A CATHOLIC THEY ARE A HERETIC and should be kicked out of the church and not allowed to receive the sacraments.

REAL CATHOLICS love jesus so MUCH They love JESUS so HARD it renders THEM incapable of using PUNCTUATION and makes them capitalize random WORDS

Evolution pushes atheism which is a religion.  It wasn’t until 1963 that christian prayer was banned in school.  I guess the Jews were tortured and forced to convert to christianity cause of those darn school prayers.

The eugenics stuff wasn’t very pleasant either. But I bet you dumbshits blame evolution for that, too.

Maybe all the Hollywood Jew film makers want to make a movie on the after effects of devastation to Israel without spending a dime on set props. I’ll be praying for my Jewish freinds and for Israel.

I’ll pray for you, you fucking kikes!

Alexander Fellman

Well, speaking as a Jew, I actually do hate to hear Christianity preached to me. I really, really do. I consider Christianity fundamentally incorrect, offensive, and disgusting. Especially Protestant Christianity. If the doctrine of grace through faith alone is true, I will be happy to march into your (nonexistent) hell, because the Protestant ‘God’ is not worth worshipping.
Rabbi Jeshua ben Josef was not the Messiah, is not the Messiah, and will never be the Messiah. The Lord is not Three-In-One, but One, indivisible. Save as we are all the Lord’s Children, the Lord has no children. These are simple facts in my religion, and if Christians are allowed to speak what I consider nonsense, then I should be allowed to reject it completely, at both the voting booth and in public.

Here we have yet another example of someone who easily sees how silly and irrational other people’s religions are, but is blind to the silliness of his own. Yes, Alexander, Christianity is nonsense. But no less nonsensical than Judaism.

TJFod1

No one preached Christianity to you liar.

What you seem to not understand is that without Christians, American Christians—-Jews wouldn’t have made it out of the ovens of Germany.

Kiss my Christian *** . and don’t look for my son to bail Israel out

(Edited by a moderator)

Uh, there are about a gajillion people preaching in this very thread.

And seriously, this conversation is being moderated? “Kill the Jews” is okay, but don’t say the word “ass”?

john doe Collapse

Why can’t conservatives just admit that their candidate sucked, even amongst committed Republican voters? Let’s face it, Mitt Romney garnered only lukewarm support during the GOP primaries and had to be foisted upon the party faithful at the convention.

How can you expect American voters to get excited about a man whose own party wasn’t entirely convinced he was the right man for the job?

Pad Dar

Mitt Romney does not suck.
Obama is a foreign usurper and you that voted for him care more for your private parts than country, period.

If I had to choose between America and my penis, of course I’d choose my penis! In fact, any sane, rational person would choose my penis.

The distribution of intelligence in most populations is similar, unfortunately it appears the Jewish population’s intelligence as been increasingly skewed to the down-side; stupid is what stupid does, eventually all reap the consequences of their actions.

You just knew one of those pseudoscientific “race and intelligence” lummoxes would show up at some point. Racists are nothing if not predictable.

So what have we learned? Nothing, of course. Ignorance, bigotry, arrogance, fearmongering and racism are exactly what you expect to find in any thread at WingNutDaily. But it sure is fun mocking these dumbshits. 🙂 I can’t wait for the next batch of “blame anyone but ourselves” gibbersih from the far right wing loonies. It’s sure to be a blast. 🙂