Vox Populi

If you’re like me and enjoy reading something excruciatingly dumb every now and then, then you can rarely go wrong with the Letters to the Editors pages of local newspapers. I usually find myself wondering, “If these are the ones they saw fit to publish, just how awful must the unfit ones have been?” And today’s three letters are no different.

Let’s start with C. Dale German of Bethany, OK, who has a nuanced and original take on the current condition of these great United States.

One nation under God

Ha ha! Just kidding. He’s just gonna regurgitate dishonest god-humper boilerplate. This asshole has totally drunk the “1950s were a utopia” Kool-Aid about the 1950s that too many Americans gullibly believe, and he wants us all to know how deluded he is.

America was once a civil place.

Even our Wars were Civil!

Democrats and Republicans fought from opposite political perspectives yet were both proud Americans.

In fact, just like now, they would NEVER shut up about what proud Americans they are. It’s practically the only thing politicians ever say in this country.

Families could watch TV with small children and never hear profanity.

Talk about first world problems. Oh, I’m sorry, I meant fucking god damn first world problems, you cunt-faced son of a bitch.

School days began with Bible reading, a salute to the flag and the Lord’s Prayer.

That flag reference sandwiched between two religious references is very revealing. As much as they yammer on about the evils of idolatry, the flag might as well be a god to fundamentalists.

We went to work and left our houses unlocked.

Then you were idiots, seeing as crime rates were about the same in the 1950s as they are today, and are actually steeply declining over the last two decades. The only thing that’s changed is now you have sensationalistic 24 hour news channels constantly bombarding you with real life horror stories.

The American military was strong and respected.

That’s because we’d just dropped a fucking nuke on Japan. The “respect” was bullshit. People just didn’t want to get fucking nuked.

Americans felt blessed to live in America.

We still do. I just had a conversation the other day about how happy I am not to live in fucking Mexico where the fucking cartels are leaving duffel bags full of severed heads in elementary schools. The difference is that I don’t feel the need to buttress those feelings with glurgy, sentimental garbage and lies like you do.

“Blue laws” supported businesses that closed on Sunday.

Free enterprise!

Those who don’t remember this America don’t know how heartbreaking it is for those who do remember the America we lost.

It wasn’t lost, because you can’t lose something that never existed.

For sure there was poverty, segregation and social ills to be cured in an evolving America.

*Snort!* Yeah, America in the 50s was great! We saluted the flag and didn’t say the word “shit” on TV! Sure, there was crime, injustice, racism, sexism, higher poverty rates, higher illiteracy rates and all. But we had blue laws! (By the way–blue laws still exist in many cities…)

But we remember a nice country.

That’s because you were a spoiled little brat who was shielded from the harsh realities of the country you lived in. Social ills and injustice are perpetuated by silence, and silence is exactly what a sanctimonious, censorious, prudish, sheltered society like 1950s America breeds. That’s why you were so content with your fucking censored TV and chintzy American flag crap while black people were being beaten in the streets just for protesting Jim Crow laws. “Yeah, there was segregation and poverty, but I remember a nice country.” Shut the hell up.

School teachers and clergy wore suits and were respected.

If you paid school teachers a decent wage maybe they could afford more suits. Or, you know, feed and clothe their children. But the suits seem to be what’s important to you, and if that’s what it takes to get you to pay teachers more, then I guess I can go with it.

Men respected women as ladies and women responded as ladies.

“As ladies”. There is so much packed into those two words that I could write an entire blog post unraveling it. (Don’t worry. I won’t.) Let’s just say that this is the 1950’s “suits=respect” way of saying “Bitches stayed in their place.”

We can hope that not all is lost.

I hope all of it is lost. I don’t want to live in a society where superficial crap like words on TV, saluting a flag and wearing a suit are more important than real life concerns like poverty and injustice. Take your shallow-minded, cotton-candy, shiny-surface-with-a-rotten-core vision of America and shove it.

When those who remember are gone and only those who don’t remember remain, we can hope today’s crass, vulgar, obscenity of incivility will one day fade into history in a born-again America true to its founding purpose — one nation under God.

Or we could just keep living our lives and wait for all you pathetic old fogies to die so we don’t have to hear about this crap any more. The really funny thing is that 60 years from now people will be saying these exact same things about the times we’re currently living in. Humans are nothing if not predictable animals.

Our next subject, Wayne Hull of Yukon, OK, has some serious fucking Fatwa Envy going on:

Regarding the staging of “The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told” at Civic Center Music Hall: Why would anyone during the holidays condemn an actual religion of peace? Imagine the ferocious protests if the same venue was being used to stage “The Most Fabulous Ramadan.” Why mock people of faith who celebrate their faith?

Because it’s funny? It’s telling that every time Christianity is mocked, the response is a furious protest by Christians claiming that Christians don’t do furious protests so fuck the Muzzies. They are so jealous of Muslims they can barely contain it.

What’s hilarious about ridiculing the story of Christ, likely using the most exaggerated homosexual caricatures in the presentation, and infusing sex acts into a holiday otherwise devoid of promiscuity?

Christmas? Devoid of promiscuity? Are you fucking high? The whole damn holiday revolves around a teenage girl giving birth out of wedlock.

Oh, and notice how he says “likely” when describing the contents of the play he’s furiously not-protesting. That means he hasn’t seen the play he’s criticizing. Fucking typical.

How is this anything but an affront to people whose beliefs are different and, consequently, threatening?

Pretty sure you’re the one protesting people whose beliefs you view as different and threatening. Hasn’t that been the whole theme of every single sentence prior to this one?

They made a play about gay Jesus. Fucking get over it. You didn’t even fucking see it, and no one is forcing you or anybody else to watch it. Yet you protest its very existence. You, my friend, are the one being intolerant.

Last year the Obama administration openly condemned an American citizen for a YouTube video poking fun at the Prophet Muhammad.

This would be a good time to remind everyone that the term “religion of peace” in regards to Islam was coined by George W. Bush. Pandering to Muslims is nothing new, and both parties do it. It’s not right, but it’s not exclusive to Obama, either.

Now our elected officials waffle with another public piece that, if paralleled in regards to Islam, would likely result in mass riots.

More fatwa envy. American Christians really, really, REALLY wish they could get away with the violence that goes on in the Muslim world. They’d love to riot and chop people’s heads off if they could.

Christians are supposed to shut up passively as their faith is ridiculed. If they speak up, they’re chastised as being bigots or, at least, anti-First Amendment.

And rightly so, because that’s exactly what they are. But no one is calling for you to be censored. What you’re asking for, on the other hand…

Those who support a “gay agenda” must know how deeply regressive this play impacts their desire to be recognized as part of a larger society.

Only amongst small minded bigots like you. Normal people don’t respond to a gay Jesus play by thinking, “Well, I guess that means I should deny gays their rights!” That’s not how human brains work.

The Christmas story isn’t a story of gay sex, let alone gay persons.

See? The gay people don’t need your fucking approbation anyhow. You’ve already excluded them, so why should they censor their play to appease your bigoted ass?

It’s a Middle Eastern story of one man whose life changed the world forever.

Which is why we Christians fight tooth and nail to make sure it never changes again….

…And lose every time.

And just so it doesn’t look like I’m unfairly picking on my home state, let’s move on to Pennsylvania. Central Pennsylvania, to be more precise. And as we all know, central Pennsylvania is the most important Pennsylvania, because it’s central to all that other Pennsylvania. And it’s got those fires that never, ever, ever go out.*

But that’s not what the real problem is. Take it away, Chris Hicks of East Pennsboro Township.

If the question is gay marriage, God has the answer

Please tell me Jesus finally proposed to Muhammad.

In response to Shirley Ericson’s letter, “United Methodist church is acting against a courageous minister“:

Contrary to Ms. Ericson’s opinion, God is not this grandfatherly-cosmic-casual-genie that looks down on us and is OK with our sinful condition.

Grandfatherly Cosmic Casual Genie sounds a lot better when you sing it to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon theme. Seriously, try it.

And why would god even be a genie, casual or otherwise? I read Shirley Ericson’s letter. She at no point implies that Jeebus is played by Shaq or Robin Williams, or that he ever grants any wishes (see what I did there? Prayer is bullshit!). The only person talking about this weird genie Jesus is you, bub.

Anyways, if gob doesn’t like our sinful condition, he shouldn’t have created it in the first place. He chose to give us free will and put tempting fruit in the garden. If he’s unhappy with the result, he has no one to blame but himself. Would you put a steak on your floor then beat your dog for eating it?

His word is clear and infallible. It does not change, while a culture’s moral compass becomes clouded and is in decline.

How exactly can a compass be in decline? Maybe he’s referring to the Golden Compass film franchise…

His word is rock solid, firm and clear.

Weirdly, this is also true of his dick.

Sin is bad because it hurts the heart of God.

What is it about fundamentalist religion that turns its followers into prattling five year olds? The baby-talk that comes from these people is just plain fucking creepy. The above sentence should never be spoken by any human being over the age of 8, unless they have, like, Down’s syndrome or something. And even then they should keep it to a minimum.

But apparently, in this guy’s puerile mind, an omnipotent being can be hurt. How? How could a perfect being be harmed in any way? If he has ANY vulnerabilities or shortcomings whatsoever, then he is not perfect and omnipotent.  It makes no sense to speak of a perfect being feeling or wanting or needing anything at all. And, with one fell swoop, I’ve just erased the motivation for all but the most deistic forms of religion. Sorry about that. I know how you guys hate logic.

When will we quit trying to pursue our own fleshly lusts and sinful desires and seek to live sacrificial lives unto our great, gracious, holy heavenly Father?

When we all lose our god damn minds. So, hopefully never.

For a closing exercise, click on that link above and read Shirley Ericson’s letter, then go back and read Chris Hicks’ again.  These are both Christians, but they are clearly very different kinds of Christians. And I’m not just talking about their views on gay marriage being different. Their brains work differently.  They’re processing information and reacting to it in starkly different ways.

Even before we get to their beliefs and their claims, just the language of the two letters shows striking contrasts. Both letters, for instance, contain a single interrogative sentence. But they use the interrogative for entirely different purposes. Ericson’s interrogative (third paragraph) is a hypothetical in which she presents some evidence and then provides a logical conclusion from it in order to make the reader THINK about their position. She’s challenging her audience to use their minds and reconsider their position.

Now look at Hicks’ interrogative, which I just snarked at above. It’s a lament, intended to get people to stop behaving differently from him and start unquestioningly obeying an authority. It has precisely the OPPOSITE purpose as Ericson’s. And rather than use logic to persuade, he tries to change the reader’s mind by appealing to a cognitive bias humans have to be more trusting of people who look wealthy, clean, beautiful, or powerful. Seriously, would even North Korea use language like his to describe its leader?

The baby-talk is completely absent from Ericson’s letter. Her declarative sentences are more complex than Hicks’, and again she uses them differently. Her declarative sentences consist mostly of statements of fact that are not a matter of belief, such as “This guy will lose his job,” etc. She often uses these facts as premises and conclusions in arguments. For Hicks, EVERY declarative sentence states as fact something that is a matter of his own personal faith. He doesn’t actually state a single faith-free fact anywhere in his letter. Not one. And he doesn’t make any arguments at all. He just declares his own beliefs as absolutely true by fiat, as if he himself were god.

I could go on and on analyzing the differences between the two, but the point should be obvious by now. There are different kinds of Christians, and differences between them run so deep that they alter the very way they process information and interact with the world. Ericson focuses on concrete facts. She then processes these to see what they imply. And if what they imply contradicts what she believes about gay marriage, she adapts her beliefs to the new information. She then proceeds to spell out these premises and conclusions for others, hoping to replicate the process in other minds as well. This is all just a long way of saying she’s a RATIONAL FUCKING PERSON.

Hicks, on the other hand, is a textbooks example of an authoritarian. He associates power with truth and beauty. If someone is powerful, then whatever they say must be true and good. He sees himself as a conduit of this power, and issues demands on its behalf that others assimilate to his thought processes or face dire wrath. So he’s like the Borg, but without any real power. He views communication between humans as a string of commands that others obey the power that he is vicariously channeling from an imaginary being.  And he sees value in others only insofar as they conform to this arbitrary string of commands. Which, again, is just a long way of saying he’s a FUNDAMENTALIST FUCKFACE.

I’m glad there’s no heaven. Spending eternity with these guys would be hell.

 

____________________

*No wonder they based a horror video game on it. That shit is fucking scary.

God hates facts

While most of the rest of the country gradually moves towards equality on the gay marriage issue, Indiana is resolutely planting its feet in the past. There’s a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage headed for a vote some time in November 2014. Why, you ask? How could Indiana be this backwards when their neighbor Illinois just decided to join the 21st century and legalize gay marriage? The answer is simple. It’s because of assholes like this guy:

Gay marriage would violate God’s laws

You say that like it fucking matters. Yet God doesn’t seem to give a fuck about people violating his oh-so-sacred laws. Adultery is supposedly against his laws, yet it’s legal in all 50 states, and he hasn’t done jack shit about it. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he just doesn’t care about you or any other glorified primate on this planet?

In Sunday’s Indy Star, business columnist John Ketzenberger’s statement that Indiana’s passing of HJR 6 would make the state less economically competitive and that Indiana would become a “beacon for limiting rights” is as far from the truth as most of the other arguments that favor voting down the proposed amendment.

Apparently god hates punctuation. God’s law says you get just one comma in your paragraph. After that, you just have to string words together without any kind of structure or coherence until you reach that weary period at the end. If “comma” meant sex partner, “words” meant “every aspect of your life”, and “period” meant “miserable death”, then that’s also a pretty apt description of god’s views on sex and marriage.

The author of this dribble, Jim Riecker, makes no actual arguments against the claim that banning gay marriage would harm the economy. He just simply asserts it as fact. It’s what liberals believe–so it must be false! Logic!

But there is very good reason to think it’s true. Businesses of all sorts want to cater to the under-40 crowd. They spend lots of money, which is why most things are marketed towards them. And they overwhelmingly support gay rights, including the rights of gays to marry. They’re not gonna want to come to your state if your state presents itself as a backwards redneck shithole, which is exactly what Indiana is doing right now.

The fact is that the push to move this state to the secular left has nothing to do with economics or individual rights, but is another example of misdirection by a group and their supporters to engage in spiritual warfare through public opinion and deception against the laws of God that this nation was founded upon.

I bet you thought I was kidding about that whole “One comma then no more punctuation” rule, didn’t you? The lord works in mysterious ways, I guess. Either that or Indiana is currently experiencing a massive shortage in punctuation marks. If only punctuation were made from limestone! We could make a fuck ton of commas, periods, dashes, and parentheses here in Bloomington (one of the few sane places in Indiana).

This asshole could clearly use some. Here, dingleberry, let me try to make that sentence a little clearer for you:

The fact is, that the push to move this state to the secular left has nothing to do with economics or individual rights. but It is another example of misdirection by a group (and their supporters) to engage in spiritual warfare (through public opinion and deception) against the laws of God that this nation was founded upon.

There. It’s still a clunky, ugly paragraph. But at least it’s readable now.

And now that it’s readable, I see that I’m wasting my fucking time. “They want gay marriage because they hate baby Jeebus.” Real fuckin’ original. Yeah, the other side couldn’t possibly be concerned with helping gay people. They just hate your pathetic deity. A deity, I might add, who seems utterly impotent to actually address this issue himself. It wouldn’t be that difficult for Jeebus to just come down and say, “Hey, bros! Gay marriage? Cut that shit out.” But apparently he can’t get off the fucking god-couch. Lazy-ass motherfucker…

It seems like God’s law is always being conveyed by his sad little followers. It’s been, according to your ignorant followers, 6,000 years now, God. When are you gonna get your head outta your Holy Hole and actually do something?

The only opportunity that Indiana has in this argument is whether to remain a beacon for the laws of God.

True story. The other day I was in a bar here in Bloomington. This dumb hick sitting a couple seats down from me starts spouting out a bunch of racist jokes. And I mean, really bottom of the barrel dumbshit racist jokes, like “Why shouldn’t you play Uno with a Mexican? ‘Cause they get all the green cards! Hurr hurr hurr!” Keep in mind, in this bar, there was me, this racist asshole, and two black guys, and that’s it. He thought this was appropriate.

Eventually he turned to me and blurted out, “And you know what else?” I was sick of his shit, so I responded, “This better not be another fucking bad joke.” He looked nonplussed for a second, then proceeded to explain to me that Americans can apply for refugee status in Canada from the War on Drugs. I said that’s bullshit. Which, by the way, it is.

The motherfucker was so offended by this–a mild insult, by my standards–that he immediately demanded his tab and left the bar without speaking another word. He just simply couldn’t handle the idea that someone might point out that simple facts contradict basically every stupid, childish, racist, xenophobic thought in his barely functioning brain.

Indiana has too many of these fucking people. Mr. Riecker here just wants to shout “God’s law! God’s law! God’s law!” and simply can’t abide by someone saying something like, “A gay person whose loved one is dying isn’t allowed to visit them in the hospital because they aren’t allowed to get married. This is injustice.” If you say that, they demand their tab and storm off like spoiled children.

Maybe Illinois will spank them and set them straight.

Whiny Whitey just won’t give up

The American (non)Thinker just won’t stop pimping this idea that white people are the real victims of a case in which an unarmed black teenager was stalked and shot to death. Here’s one of the more recent anal spewings they’ve produced:

July 20, 2013

Birth of a Racist

By Sally Zelikovsky

I assume that the title is a deliberate reference to Birth of a Nation, which is still used by the KKK as a promotional tool to this day, 98 years after it came out. At least D. W. Griffith’s horrendously racist piece of hateful propaganda was well-made. In fact, it is, sadly, a legitimate contender for the title of Most Influential Movie Ever. Zelikovsky’s piece, however, is just more of the the poorly written fucking dogshit we’ve come to expect from American (non)Thinker.

When I awoke this morning and looked at myself in the mirror, I realized that I had undergone a fundamental transformation — a  Kafkaesque metamorphosis.  I was no longer myself.  I had become…a racist.

In my junior year as an undergrad I participated in a preceptorial on the works of Kafka. During our discussions of The Trial, one of the other students suggested the idea that some aspects of Kafka’s work represented the gas chambers in the Holocaust. I pointed out that Kafka died in 1924, long before Hitler took power and began the Holocaust. But she insisted on her interpretation, even going so far as to claim that Kafka somehow psychically predicted Zyklon B showers. This was the point when I realized that “Kafkaesque” means whatever the fuck the person using the word wants it to mean.

But there is, ironically, a sort of Kafkaesque quality to Zelikovsky’s little Whiny Whitey tirade. The joke of “The Metamorphosis” is that Gregor Samsa didn’t really change. He always was the spineless vermin that he supposedly transformed into–there actually wasn’t any real metamorphosis in terms of personality. The same is true of Zelikovsky. Being a racist is a Kafkaesque metamorphosis for her. Which is to say, nothing about her really changed. She was already a racist to begin with.

I didn’t do it to myself.  I’ve always been sensitive to race.  I don’t support racism or racists.  I’ve never considered myself racist and don’t think others would consider me a racist.  How could I be one now?

I’m pretty sure others would consider you racist, given what you say later in this article. This appears to be primarily an issue of your self-delusion and narcissism.

I never enslaved anyone, prevented them from working or voting or living in my neighborhood or joining my clubs.

That’s all it takes to be non-racist, right? As long as I don’t own slaves or kick blacks out of my neighborhood, I’m not racist. That’s all it takes. Right? RIGHT??? TELL ME I’M RIGHT SO I CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF!

I don’t think there was any proof that George Zimmerman did either.

There’s also no proof that he had any reason to suspect Trayvon Martin of anything at all. But you’ll be conveniently ignoring that fact, won’t you?

But now I know if I ever cross or injure a black person — no matter how justified my actions might be — there is a presumption that I am a racist.

Only if “justified” means “The unarmed child I shot was black.”

I don’t like it at all.  It isn’t true.  But here I am, non-racist me trapped inside this new racist body I’ve been assigned.  My actions and beliefs are irrelevant.  Society has decreed this is who I am.

Oh, poor you. Society declared you racist, and it makes you feel poopy. Meanwhile, society also declared it okay to kill Trayvon Martin because he…what? What did he do? Walk around at night while black? You’re declaring your feelings to be more important than his life. Fuck you.

Like alien pods taking control over our slumbering bodies, unstoppable forces have gradually been redirecting our programming as a society so that any time a minority is harmed or disliked by a white person, the precipitating cause of the harm or dislike is ipso facto racism.

Euphemism is always the friend of the prude and the whiner. Please note that in the case under consideration, “harmed or disliked” means “stalked without any justification and then shot dead.”

After the Zimmerman verdict, many white people woke up just like me, realizing that we will be deemed haters whenever we interact with non-whites and something goes wrong — no matter what our motivation or innermost thoughts are.

To understand the meaning of “something goes wrong”, see above. And, again, Zelikovsky is claiming that her precious, delicate little “innermost thoughts” are more important than a 17-year-old boy’s life. Fucking horrible, hateful, selfish, racist bitch.

Most of us didn’t grow up this way.

No shit.

Quite the opposite.  I was taught never to hate and only to judge people by their actions and not by their color, race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc

If so, your teachers failed.

Didn’t Martin Luther King say we should judge a man by “the content of his character, not by his color of his skin”?

Didn’t Martin Luther King devote his entire life to opposing people like you?

Use of racism to implement an agenda or get one’s way, has been building over years.

This guy called Martin Luther King may have done it, too.

Anytime you fire someone who is a minority, you must have documentation backing up your non-racist justifications.

I’ve had several jobs and seen people of all races fired. Being able to justify a firing is something a business has to do no matter what.

Even though we are supposed to be a color-blind, post-racial society, groups and individuals force us to think about race all the time.

Classic Whiny Whitey. “By talking about racism, they’re FORCING me to experience the horrible, unutterable suffering of having to THINK!”

We have become a hyper-racial society.  Furthermore, since very few of us want to be labeled with anything as odious as “racist,” we will do anything — including keeping incompetents in our employ — to avoid the moniker.

Or maybe we’ll just construct such excuses in order to make ourselves look like victims.

If you don’t like your black neighbor because you have a personality clash, you are a racist.

Nope. Lot’s of people don’t like Chris Brown. No one has ever been called racist for it. He’s an asshole.

If you complain about a black clerk in a store because she wasn’t helpful, you are a racist.

Nope. I’ve complained about bad service from people who happened to be black. No one ever called me a racist for it.

If you oppose affirmative action, you are a racist.

True.

If you disagree with a black President’s ideology and disapprove of his policies, you most definitely are a racist.

Nope. But it helps your credibility with the right if you are a racist.

If you are a juror in the Trayvon Martin case and find George Zimmerman not guilty, you must be a racist. Heck, the entire system that acquitted Zimmerman is racist. Those shots were fired not out of self-defense but because of racism. And we know that, because Trayvon was black and Zimmerman white.

There is no sane universe in which stalking an unarmed boy–even after a 911 operator told you not to–and then starting a confrontation with him and shooting him should be considered “self defense”. Florida, obviously, is not sane. Zimmerman was not defending himself. He started the confrontation. Trayvon Martin was the one defending himself. If you think differently, I don’t even care if you’re racist or not. You’re just an asshole, plain and simple.

Whether or not he did or did not provoke the confrontation with Trayvon, it’s hard to believe the wimpy George Zimmerman’s last thoughts were “I’m going to kill a black man because I don’t like blacks” as opposed to “This guy is bashing my head in and I better do something before I lose consciousness.”

No. Bullshit. The fact that Zimmerman started the whole thing is very much an issue.

In trials like this — where you have one-on-one action with little else to go on — and you want to prove racism, you are either forced to (1) look at surrounding evidence, statements and circumstances and try to re-construct what you think the state of mind or intent of the accused was, or (2) intuit what the accused was thinking, in other words, jump into his mind and make the leap from assumption to assumption.

While there was a credible eye witness who saw Trayvon beating up Zimmerman,  if hate is to be the crime on trial, then we are compelled to examine the thoughts of the perpetrator and the victim, even though we have no way of ever knowing what they really were.  Until we can read someone’s thoughts as if they were files on a computer, we are treading into dangerous territory.

Fuck you. You’re the one pretending to “intuit” what Zimmerman was thinking. Here are some facts, which neither side of the debate disputes: 1.) Zimmerman was carrying a gun even though no one ever asked him to do this; 2) Trayvon Martin wasn’t hurting anybody; 3) Zimmerman chose to follow him; 4) The 911 operator specifically told him not to do that; 5) Zimmerman ignored this and continued following Martin; 6) Zimmerman was the one who initiated a confrontation between the two; 7) a fight broke out; 8) Zimmerman shot and killed Martin, 9) Martin was UNARMED.

I don’t need to read anyone’s thoughts. Zimmerman was wrong. Period. No one should be allowed to do what he did, even without the race issue.

These are the kind of cases that try men’s souls.

Fuck off.

…the public is unsettled because any one of us, at any time, of any color, could be either Trayvon Martin or George Zimmerman.

Complete and utter bullshit. I can’t be Trayvon Martin, because I am a 32 year old white man. You are a white woman, and therefore also cannot be Trayvon Martin. Society frequently treats young black men as if they’re automatically dangerous–something that doesn’t happen to white men or to women of any race.

On top of all this, some in the public — MSNBC, loonies on the left, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and the minions they have summoned to protest — want us to further restrict the self-defense laws that protect all of us in these situations.

Bullshit. Zimmerman was not defending himself. He started the fight. He was the aggressor.

This means it would be even harder for you to shoot an intruder or rapist or pedophile when protecting yourself or your family.  This means people will hesitate before coming to the aid of a neighbor or being a Good Samaritan.  This means when someone robs your store at gunpoint, you have to succumb to injury or death.  This means when your daughter or son is raped, they must yield and never fight back because self-defense will no longer be available to them.

Whiny Whitey sure does love some good old fashioned scaremongering. And, no, recognizing the injustice of the Martin case does not mean you have to let your daughters get raped. It just means you can’t stalk and kill unarmed teenage boys. If you consider not being able to stalk and shoot 17 year old black boys to be an infringement on your rights, please fucking fuck yourself with the first sharp object you find.

This would be a return to the lawlessness of the Wild West where anything goes and your only justice is revenge.  Call it feudal, barbaric, mob rule or lawlessness: either way, it is the unraveling of the criminal justice system in America and a giant step back for mankind.

That’s precisely the opposite of what you said the the previous paragraph, you stupid hateful bitch. First you say this will make everyone cowed and submissive–next it’s the Wild Wild West. You don’t have any activity in your anterior cingulate cortex at all, do you?

Do we really want to throw the self-defense baby out with the racism bathwater?

No, but only an idiot would think that those are our only two options.

Most of these cases are admittedly hard to prove — that’s why our system errs on the side of innocence.  It’s better to let a guilty man go free than incarcerate an innocent one.  If you were the accused, believe me, this would be your mantra.

I agree that it’s better to let guilty men go than imprison innocent men. So, let’s talk about all the black men who get railroaded into our prisons by a justice system that–HEY! Where are you going???

I wonder if the race industry has any idea what they are clamoring for by restricting the claim of self-defense.  Black-on-black crime is the overwhelming source of crime against blacks in America.  If the Zimmerman protesters have their way and a black intruder breaks into the home of a black family and is shot dead by the homeowner, the homeowner will more likely be the criminal on trial than the perp, as we have seen in the Ron Dixon case in Brooklyn, where a Jamaican family man killed an intruder (whose race isn’t clear in the reports) and was shockingly sentenced to jail for illegally possessing a gun.

Do I even need to explain how this situation has nothing to do with Zimmerman? (Nota Bene: If you need me to explain, then you’re an imbecile, much like Sally Zelikovsky.)

My heart breaks that slavery, Jim Crow, segregation, the KKK, lynching, and discrimination ever existed.  Every reasonable human being feels this way.

Sure it does. But you know whose hearts don’t break for those things? The commenters on the website where you published this.

This is not exclusive to race.  Gay activists have hijacked the black plight for their own purposes.  Gay students are given special consideration in the college application process to right the wrongs visited upon previous generations of homosexuals.  If you dislike a person who happens to be gay, you are homophobic.  If you disapprove of redefining marriage, you are homophobic.  If the thought of same-sex sexual conduct makes you feel uncomfortable, you are homophobic.  If you think AIDS is a gay disease brought on by lifestyle, you are homophobic.  If you fire anyone who is gay, you are homophobic.

“I can’t understand why every time I restrict the rights of gays I get called homophobic!”

And, as we have seen in the media’s reaction to the Zimmerman case, for many, there is no room for self-defense if the puncher-turned-victim is black and the accused is white.

The media is evil for turning the “puncher” into a victim. Rather, we should treat the SHOOTER as a victim.

You right wing assholes are so very clever–in the Spinal Tap interpretation of clever which actually means stupid. But make no mistake. If you ever punch someone, and then they shoot you in response, all this indignity will vanish in an instant, and you’ll suddenly realize what “proportionate response” means. Especially if the guy you who picked a fight with you is black.

Whiny Whitey, Zimmerman and the company you keep

The brain trust over at The American (non)Thinker really is in a tizzy over the Zimmerman trial. They just keep reaching deeper and deeper into their racist assholes and pulling out every single racist piece of shit they find to smear all over the internet and make the world suck a little more for those of us who don’t need to call ourselves “thinkers” in order to trick people into thinking that we’re non-dumb.

In the wake of the George Zimmerman verdict several black ministers across the country put up signs on their outdoor church billboards criticizing it.

The blog post proceeds to discuss all of TWO churches who did this. The messages on the church signs are admittedly clumsy and poorly worded, but that’s true of a lot of church signs. But that doesn’t make them inaccurate. One church rightly notes that it’s a lot easier to get away with killing a black man than with raping a white woman. The other says it’s now safe to kill black men in “Amerikkka”. Hyperbolic? Yes. An understandable reaction to Zimmerman walking free after killing an unarmed teenager that he stalked and confronted even after being specifically told not to do that? Yes. Perfectly understandable. I would have stated it with less exaggeration, but in principle I see where they’re coming from. If I were a black man, this verdict would give me legitimate concerns about my safety, so I totally get why there are black churches that are freaking out about this.

Of course, churches freaking out and issuing hyperbolic statements of doom is nothing new. Panic and mass hysteria are the bread and butter of fundamentalism. White churches do it when an openly gay person is allowed to teach in a high school. Black churches do it when A TEENAGER IS MURDERED AND HIS KILLER IS SET FREE. One of these is not like the other. One of them is understandable. The other can go fuck itself. If I have to explain to you which is which, just go fucking kill yourself and save the world from the indignity of having to share a planet with you.

Cue Whiny Whitey! Whiny Whitey knows that making white people feel all poopy inside by talking about racism is just as bad as murdering black people. Whiny Whitey knows what all the black people should actually be talking about. Whiny Whitey is generously, charitably offering her advice to black people so that they’ll start talking about what matters (how much the black community sucks) instead of talking about things like their sons getting murdered, which is very hurtful to white people (emphasis added below):

The church responded by saying: “The message on the sign is not a message of hate. It is a message of awakening and call to action. It is a message not intended to divide, but to cause honest reflection in order to make this country a better place for ALL.”

However there was no “honest reflection in order to make this country a better place for ALL.”  Honest reflection demands reflecting on these headlines.

7 shot in attacks on South, West, Southwest sides

Teen Charged In Murder Of 15-Year-Old Boy

The incidents generating these headlines–and similar ones across the country–had nothing to do with the Zimmerman verdict.  Occurring around the time the signs were posted,
all the victims–and all the perpetrators–looked like the sons of Obama.  Many of the murders will be unsolved.

So, sadly, yes, “it is safe to kill black people in Amerikkka.”

Yes, tragically, “You can kill an African American and you will walk down in Florida.”  And across the country.

But, also sadly, I don’t think the pastors of these churches, or Rev Jesse Jackson Senior or Rev Al Sharpton or Attorney General Eric Holder will honestly reflect on why this is so.

They will not reflect or issue “a call to action” on teen age pregnancy, single parent, fatherless homes, crime ridden communities, unemployable adults, uncontrollable schools.

At best there will be more demands for more government aid, make work jobs while blaming racism for all the problems.

And black people will continue to be killed in Amerikkka. (sic) And their black murderers will continue to freely walk.

If Edith C. Fenig were being just a tad more honest, that last sentence would read: “And the black murderers in these UNSOLVED crimes continue to freely walk. It’s a good thing I’m writing for a right wing website so I don’t have to worry about my target audience thinking about this for all of two seconds and realizing what a horrible racist bitch I am.”

The two articles she links to don’t even discuss the race of the perpetrators or the victims in the crimes they describe. Fenig is simply assuming that if it’s a shooting, it must be a black perpetrator. But remember, there’s no racism in America, so we should just stop talking about it! Instead, we should talk about everything that’s wrong with the black community!

What’s especially infuriating to me is that a lot of black activists have brought attention to the problems, like fatherless homes and crime, that plague black neighborhoods. It’s not like black people don’t talk about these things or do anything about them. But these are very difficult problems to solve. Oh, and remember that quote from the last Whiny Whitey article I talked about from American (non)Thinker?

We are all creepy ass crackas now, which was the point of electing a community organizer as President in the first place. It could end up no other way.

So according to American (non)Thinker, black people should only talk about the flaws in their own communities, and black community organizers are evil. Or, in other words, black people should only talk about things that make themselves look bad, and anyone who works to actually improve black people’s lives is bad, so things are just gonna have to stay the way they are, except without white people ever having to acknowledge that racism is real.

“Honest reflection” my bony white ass.

But the racism of American (non)Thinker isn’t my main point. You can learn a lot about a website by its audience. Whiny Whitey’s MO is maintaining that there’s no racism in America, so we should stop talking about it. Of course, this requires at least maintaining the thin veneer of not being racist oneself. But they allow comments on their articles, and this gives us some insight into the type of people they cater to (Hint: They’re racist, racist, racist, racist, racist).

eChien

After 5 years of “My People” Holder, “If I had a Son..” Obama, the knock-out game in St Louis, Beat Whitey Night in Iowa, the skyrocketing, extremely under-reported black -on-white violence , black panther voter intimidation etc….I can truthfully state I NO LONGER CARE what black folks do!!!

The sooner they commit self-genocide, the better.

90% of the blacks have emitted their true colors and it’s all anti-white.

Flame away, but I’m done with the issue!!

You’re worried about being flamed while espousing views that are pretty much typical of the burning cross crowd. Anyone remember that Bill Hicks quote about irony?

Pragmatist • 

Minority groups primarily Blacks are majority in prison for the simple
reason that it is THEY who commit the MAJORITY of the crimes. Black male
‘Youths’ between the ages of 15 and 25 (just like USURPERS ‘son’
Trayvon) who comprise LESS than 2% of the USA’s population nevertheless
commit OVER 55% of all the MURDERS and OVER 65% of all the VIOLENT crime
in the USA.
The most likely cause of death for a
Black Youth is to be killed by another Black Youth and OVER 95% of all
Blacks murdered are murdered by other BLACKS.

CAPS LOCK makes my MADE UP BULLSHIT into TRUTH.

ChesterCurmudgeon

Beat up a white man (or “white” hispanic) and he’s expected not to defend himself and take a beating like a good cracker.

He’s expected not to stalk innocent people and start a confrontation with them.

Ls Santa Hermandad LeChien

The White race is finally awakening from its induced stupor. When we ALL come together our shout will be deafening and heard across the world.

Why is it that I envision this guy as a cross between Rob Liefeld and Timothy McVeigh?

andrew+johnson

A poll was taken recently showing blacks are regarded as the most racist group by the public. I wonder why?

Because it was a made up poll of your Whiny Whitey ass?

TommyGunn

It is safe to kill black kids in Amerikkka. Detroit solves next to none of their black on black murders. Screw the racist black so called leaders. Blackness is their main identity. How pitiful it must be to be them!

The cops (mostly white) aren’t solving murders of blacks! I blame the blacks!

45colt

Some black ministers will jump at the chance to become the new Jeremiah Wright. They may not understand however, the cost of such a move. Their actions may put at risk the lives and safety of many black, white, Hispanic, boys, girls, men and women. Do they want this potential blood on their hands?

White racists might kill blacks! I blame the blacks!

faithgracelove

Let’s not forget the nearly 2000 black babies killed by their own mothers in abortion clinics EVERY DAY in America (please note the correct spelling of this word). It’s hard to take black Christians seriously when they pretend to care about the sanctity of life while so many of their own children are daily sacrificed on the altar of abortion. They have sold their souls to the Democrat party in exchange for government handouts. They have no moral authority to preach to the rest of us.

Black Christians have no voice because they value living, breathing teenage sons over undeveloped fetuses that don’t have brain function yet! I blame blacks and women! (Fuck, at this point, why not throw in some sexism with your overt racism. You’re already a lost cause anyways.)

willmay RedStater

“…….. and certainly not biblical. . . .”

You’re right; it isn’t biblical, but it is certainly koranical.

The muslims see the blacks as “in play” for “reversion”; islam appeals to base emotions of hatred, revenge, unending vendetta, and offers a false sense of superiority to those unwilling to work to become superior.

I think we are witnessing the campaigns of islam and “civil rights” merging.

Of all the things that are wrong with this comment, “work to become superior” stands out the most. He thinks white people are superior, but they worked to become that way, so it’s not racist. That, and the fact that “koranical” is not a word in any language.

Lizzie ChesterCurmudgeon

Asians have been treated just as shabbily as Negroes in American, and much more recently. But not as bad as they were treated in their homeland, so they still come. And we are the better for it. The Asians – Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Hindus, Koreans – have done very well in America. Negroes would do very well if they emulated them. Until those of Negro heritage realize their fate is largely in their own hands, they will never be free. Too many, even today, have merely exchanged one overseer for another.

Seriously? “Negroes”? What did your great, great, great grandkids get you for your 114th birthday? (Please tell me it wasn’t a “negro”.)

turnipweeda day ago

I’ve had it with being called a racist by racist blacks. A much greater percentage of blacks are highly prejudiced than whites. I’ve been tolerant, understanding, and forgiving, but no more. Whereas I gave blacks the benefit of the doubt, now I won’t. They have always held their own race above justice, peace, right, and wrong, and I have ignored that in the interest of harmony. No more! They have shown their true face, and it is not pretty. God bless the black grownups. I pray they won’t have to suffer for what is in the hearts of their brothers

Gotta wonder why people call this guy racist…

Lizzie flamewarrior7

I think the worst crime against young Negro people is the schools. A good education has pulled many a poor soul out of the ghetto of the mind. Books inspired as well as taught.

Okay. Enough with this “negro” shit. It’s not a racist or offensive term, but it’s definitely archaic. Are you going to call them Hottentots next? Maybe if you actually got an education yourself you’d get with the times.

Kaz All_American_Americana day ago

A little history: the reason the Klan attacked black churches during the Civil Rights era was that “churches” were the gathering place for strategy, tactics and logistical planning for marches, choreographed civil unrest, etc.(Rosa Parks’ disobedience was carefully planned for months before she eventually sat in the front row of the bus. It was never spontaneous as history as tried to claim)

Now, I’m NOT in any way shape, form or fashion, condoning the violence against black churches……just stating some historical facts. Blacks in the ’50s and ’60s felt they could use the sanctity of the church to safely plan marches, etc. Same tactic the Muslims are using today in mosques across the country.

Today, black churches get away with a level of political activity that would get a tax-exempt status yanked from a mostly white or Evangelical church quicker than you could say Lois Lerner.

Unfortunately, what goes on in too many black churches is less preaching of the gospel and more grievance peddling and Democrat Party promotion.

How dare those blacks think they can safely plot to sit in the front of a bus?

This comment seals the deal for me. I can’t go through any more. Suffice it to say, The American (non)Thinker‘s readership is loaded to the gills with drooling racist morons. The type who think whites are the victims because 50 years ago blacks had to hide in their segregated churches to plot out actions like getting on a bus without being discriminated against by whites. Yes, Rosa Parks’ civil disobedience was planned and organized. The fact that such a thing needed to be planned and organized, and what that implies about our society, is lost on these pigfucking inbreds.

Whiny Whitey and the Zimmerman trial

A few months back I coined the term Whiny Whitey to denote those ubiquitous white assholes who claim to be persecuted by the mere discussion of racism in America. And boy oh fucking boy has the Zimmerman trial–and its accompanying controversy over the race issue–brought out the whiniest of whiny whiteys this country has to offer. Exhibit A: C. Edmund Wright at the American “Thinker”.

July 18, 2013

Creep Me Out: Chinese is the ‘New Nigga’?

By C. Edmund Wright

Confused yet? Be warned: the whole article is about as disjointed and non-sequitur as the title, so get used to it.

I confess to being a very confused creepy ass cracka, trying desperately to go New School, as recently elucidated by Rachel Jeantel:

Confession or no, it’s true. You are one fucking confused, racist white fuckwad. He goes on to quote Jeantel’s rather idiotic statement, and compare it to something Richard Pryor said in a 35 year old movie:

Nigga….the whole world say it’s a racist word. …around 2000, 2001 – they change it around. That means a male….any kind of male.  Any kind, (even) Chinese…my Chino…but (say) nig-grrrrrrr – (and I) advise you not to be around black people, because they not gonna have it like that.  – Rachel Jeantel on CNN, July 2013.

Stoney gave bootleg haircuts for 25 cent…..he put a bowl on your head, and he cut around it…made all the niggas look Chinese…that way they could get a job on the railroad. They wouldn’t hire no niggas see. Niggas want real money.  Chinese work for that yang money see…niggas didn’t want that sh_t see”  – Richard Pryor as Mudbone in Miss Rudolph and the Monkey, circa 1978

Remember when Chris Rock did that funny bit on the difference between black people and niggers? And remember how every single fucking white moron on planet Earth immediately took this to be an excuse to start calling black people niggers? You know, those people who are too fucking stupid to understand that Rock was being ironic, and just took him on face value as a cheap excuse to justify their own bigotry? Yeah, this is gonna be one of those situations. Wright isn’t going to throw the word “nigger” around, but he treats these two quotes as a carte blanch to toss out every negative black stereotype his tiny little pea brain can conjure up in the next few paragraphs.

Frankly, I’m not sure how to reconcile these two very disparate views on African-American relationships with Chinese-Americans, just one of the many national puzzles we face in the aftermath of the Zimmerman verdict.

Let’s make something very clear here. Richard Pryor is very funny. C. Edmund Wright is not. Moving on.

And we thought the new class of “white-Hispanic” was confusing.

It’s not confusing to anyone with two neurons to rub together. Hispanic is classified as an ethnicity, not a race. So, yes, someone can be both white and Hispanic. The two are not mutually exclusive, and never have been.

However, in honor of Miss Jeantel, I’m going to do my best to leave “the old school” and join “the new school” – and figure this stuff out.  From what I can tell, my old school ways “creep her out,” so in the spirit of racial sensitivity, reparations, bipartisanship, gender neutrality, sequestration, looking for the union label, compassionate conservatism, Occupy Wall Street, doing it for the children, and no doubt Mother Earth, I really want to get this right – and figure out the new school vernacular. (I know, old school.)

In other words: “I want to heap everything I don’t like onto Jeantel because she’s black and I’m a fucking asshole.”

I’m just a free lance writa after all, and I figure you’ll soon have an honorary degree and be a college professa somewhere – where your Obama Care benefits might cover things like fingernail extensions, paid for by taxes on tanning beds no doubt. Or maybe you’ll be on The View, or the Kardashians, or Tyler Perry’s House of whatever it is.

Black women have crazy fingernails, amiright amiright amiright? And black people elide the “R” at the end of a word! And they’re uneducated and want things like health care. Silly negroes! Nota bene: The above paragraph occurs in an article that will ultimately argue that there is no race problem and liberals just need to shut up about it.

“Freelance” is one word, by the way. That is unless you lance boils for free in addition to being a writer, which I find doubtful. Perhaps you shouldn’t be mocking black people’s supposed lack of education when you yourself seem to be rather lacking in the skills required to do what you get paid to do.

We also know from Miss Jeantel’s information that cracka, as in creepy ass cracka, is not a racist term either, as cracka refers apparently to a cop, of any color — and perhaps, a gay cop at that. Or, in the new school lingo, a cop who is “that kinda way.” For some strange reason, this image reminds me of The Village People. Then again, so does Piers Morgan.

Just in case the racism isn’t enough, he throws in some homophobia against Piers Morgan to boot. And, seriously, the Village People? If you’re going to make a gay joke in your racist article, you could at least come up with one that hasn’t been done a fucking bajillion times already.

But in reality, none of it is really that funny.

No shit.

What this all boils down to is that the trial, and what the jury focused on, was not race. This of course is an inconvenient problem for the booming racial grievance industry, which includes among others Barack Obama, Eric Holder, the NBC family of networks, the Democratic Party, numerous black churches — and of course, Reverends Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. For this community, the Zimmerman trial was about the race, the whole race, and nothing but the race, so help us almighty media.

And now we’re in full on Whiny Whitey mode.

Racists like Wright have been in retreat since the 50s. Since being openly racist is no longer socially acceptable, the strategy today is for racists to pretend that they’ve already lost. Racism is gone, so stop talking about it. If they were to succeed in this, then they might be able to preserve the vestiges of racism that still remain in today’s society.

Of course, lucky for us, racists tend to be fucking imbeciles. They have this bad habit of doing things like stringing together several paragraphs of racist stereotyping, and then following it up with dogshit like this:

Yet NBC’s naked attempt to use this trial to ignite nothing short of a race war is as pre-ordained as it is despicable. It is inevitable because contrary to popular belief and conventional beltway wisdom, the election of Obama was guaranteed to tear our nation apart at some point. The notion that he was some kind of fanciful post racial healer — almost from another galaxy — was absurd from the get go.  No liberal politician, especially a black one, can possibly heal anything racial. That’s right — it’s simply not possible.

Consider that liberal leaders of color mostly seem to come from the grievance wing of racial politics. Thus, as professional agitators and race baiters by definition, their ascension to power will necessarily take on an adversarial tone. There is no way around it.  They have gotten where they are by being adversarial towards all conservatives, Republicans and most Caucasians — and they are not about to change once they grab the reigns of power. Quite the contrary.

According to Wright the problem with racism is blacks in politics, apparently. There’s really no other conclusion that can be reached from the two paragraphs above. If we were to take Wright at his word, then we must conclude that he wants blacks removed from politics.

But, of course, since he’s Mighty Whiny Whitey, he has to portray himself as the victim in all this. When black politicians do something horrible like talk about being black, that’s just being adversarial towards “most Caucasians”. Once again, Whiny Whitey wishes us to believe that blacks talking about being black is actually an attack on whites. Wright takes it even further in declaring that it’s impossible for a black liberal to address any racial problem. He’s declaring that people who talk about racism are whiners while simultaneous spewing some of the most racist whining I’ve heard in a while. And I haven’t even gotten to the part where he declares all black Democrats to be incapable of talking about race in one breath and then in the very next breath accuses them of being “adversarial towards all conservatives, Republicans, and most Caucasians.”

Think of racial tensions as a wound on the nation, and the race agitation industry, the institution that gave us Obama, Sharpton, Jackson and Holder, is in the business of specifically pouring salt into the wound, and generally making sure it festers and never heals. Their efforts are then multiplied by butt-insky white liberals, who project their internal guilt by constantly picking at the scab as well. This scar heals just fine when ignored over time and people just go about their lives, but that dynamic is sort of inconvenient when your cash flow model or your political turn out model is dependent on a continuing flow of blood.

Even his fucking metaphor doesn’t fucking work. Wounds don’t heal by being ignored. That’s a great way to fucking bleed to death, you brain dead dickbucket. Although part of me really is hoping that Wright will get in a car accident and bleed to death because he stupidly thinks he can just wish his sucking chest wound away by pretending it’s not there. (And there’s a big difference between a scab and a scar. If we’re going to call racism a scar, then that metaphorically implies that it will never fully go away. But that’s a bit too close to the truth, now, isn’t it?)

This one paragraph from Wright pretty perfectly encapsulates what Whiny Whitey is all about. Whiny Whitey is the victim because talking about racial issues hurts Whiny Whitey. So we just shouldn’t talk about them, and pretend they’re not there. White people who disagree with Whiny Whitey are actually just full of “white guilt” because, as we all know, white people are always the victim, rather than the perpetrator, of racism. The only way Whiny Whitey will feel good is for all those evil blacks to stop talking about what it’s like to be black. Then we can maintain the wonderful status quo, where *wink wink nudge nudge* white people have it a lot easier than black people–just don’t say that part out loud.

This is known by those who benefit, and there is not a single politician or professional race hustler who’s life will be improved by acknowledging progress in this area. Without the grievance industry, figures like Sheila Jackson Lee, Emanuel Cleaver and John Lewis would be largely irrelevant government employees, representing safe liberal districts in Congress, and heard of by almost no one but their constituents.  Human nature is a powerful force, and people tend to gravitate towards positions that enrich them. Beyond any doubt, it enriches and empowers certain elements to pretend that we are all Mississippi in 1950 now, so those elements exist in a bizarre media/political/community organizing sphere where is it still Mississippi in 1950.

Your welfare for fingernail extensions joke from earlier would be quite at home in a conversation between whites in 1950s Mississippi. Or, hell, your implication in this very paragraph that black politicians are “irrelevant” apart from the racial “grievance industry” for that matter. The evidence that we haven’t come as far as we think from the 1950s is right here in your own fucking article.

The New York Times, the NBC family of networks, many black churches, Hollywood and Big Education, all are ironically part of the progressive universe and yet are stuck in this racial time warp. And this was unavoidable once Obama was elected. Obama in power was always destined to appoint grievance pimps like Van Jones and Eric Holder to positions of authority. That’s who he is, and they are merely extensions of him. The grievance pimps live for only one thing: to finally get even with all the creepy ass crackas. And no, with due respect to Miss Jeantel and Rush Limbaugh, I’m not talking about gay cops, and neither are Obama and Holder.  This is about reparations and getting even. So obsessed are they with this mission that an Hispanic Democrat who tutors black kids and votes for Obama will do for a cracka in a pinch. It goes way beyond that now, though.

We are all creepy ass crackas now, which was the point of electing a community organizer as President in the first place. It could end up no other way.

“Big Education”. The fact that he would use such a term tells us so much about his disposition.

Maybe Mr. Wright should squeeze the word “pimp” into those paragraphs a couple more times, just in case the association between black people and prostitution isn’t obvious enough. I mean, we can’t have people thinking that black people should be associated with any positive things, now, can we?  Nope. When Whiny Whitey talks about blacks, he never fails to find something negative to associate with them. Blacks are vengeance-seeking pimps who hate fine, upstanding, totally-not-racist white people like C. Edmund Wright. It’s a good thing we’ve got brave whiners like the folks at the American (non-)Thinker to stand up to these evil black people who live disproportionately in abject poverty and have historically been on the receiving end of just about every form of racism and discrimination that one can think of! To think that they have the gall to organize their community! Oh, the humanity!

Sorry, Mr. Wright, but I have no interest in creepy ass cracka solidarity. Black people talking about racism does not victimize me or anyone else. You, and every other Whiny Whitey out there, are a fucking embarrassment. Not just to white people, not just to Americans. To humanity. If anyone needs to shut the fuck up, it’s creepy ass crackas like you.

And yes. You are creepy. You are an ass. And by being a Whiny Whitey, you are definitely a cracka. Go fuck yourself.

Comic Relief: The Girl Who Loved Stupidity (part 2)

Welcome to installment #6 of Comic Relief. To see the earlier installments, go to the Comic Relief Index.

To see Part 1 of my review of Hansi: The Girl Who Loved the Swastika, click here.

So, let’s recap where we left off. Hansi, the dumbest bitch in Czechoslovakia, has become a devoted Hitler Youth follower and blindly regurgitates Nazi propaganda without any thought or reflection whatsoever. She’s so blinded by Nazism that she decides to stay in Prague even when the Russians are invading, complete with their borscht and vodka and communism and all. Her boyfriend, Rudy, says he hopes she gets raped to teach her a lesson, and this is exactly what happens. Except that everyone except her gets raped, because that’s how the plot wants things to be.  She and her friend Hair Helmet easily escape the Russian concentration camp they were in, and now they’re on the run.

What to do?

"Because there's no rape in the American military. Besides, we'll probably be taken prisoner, and I've heard there's even less rape in American prisons! USA #1!!!"

“Because there’s no rape in the American military. Besides, we’ll probably be taken prisoner, and I’ve heard there’s even less rape in American prisons! USA #1!!!”

Okay, I get the gangsters part. But “gum-chewing”? Why would Czechoslovakians hate our mastication-based freedoms?

Hansi and Hair Helmet keep moving west in search of Glorious Wonderful Americans, and along the way they have a pseudo-philosophical debate about peace and love, which causes Hansi to recall her mother’s advice about not forgetting Jesus, because all the pain and suffering she’s witnessed (and that this supposedly omnipotent being must have just stood by and watched) still hasn’t sunk in. Gang rape? Jesus loves me!

After joining up with a group of refugees trying to make a clandestine run for the border into West Germany, they are spotted by Russian soldiers.

The "miracle" of hiding and being quiet, you fucking moron. It was just two panels ago.

The “miracle” of hiding and being quiet, you fucking moron. It was just two panels ago.

Hansi has now very suddenly started aping certain Christian platitudes, such as attributing events to “miracles” even when the actual, mundane cause is really fucking bloody obvious. Don’t expect the comic to be consistent with this, though. But it is notable that the Christian boilerplate re-entered her patois only after the Instructional Rape that Rudy wished upon her. Written by a woman, folks.

Look in the background in that top panel. I’m pretty sure Hair Helmet is dead. At least, I think. She appears to take a bullet. We don’t see her any more after this panel. Hansi apparently doesn’t give a shit about her, because poor Hair Helmet doesn’t have any more of a role in the rest of the story than Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Hansi never mentions her again. Hansi: Stupid, and selfish.

"I remember hearing about gum-chewing gangsters from somebody...who was it? Ah well, she was probably a twat anyways."

“I remember hearing about gum-chewing gangsters from somebody…who was it? Ah well, she was probably a twat anyways.”

Is gum-chewing gonna be some kind of weird leitmotif in this comic from now on?

Anyways, Hansi and the child she rescued are taken in by American soldiers (who are living in barracks much nicer than anything any real soldiers ever lived in).

Of course Spire Christian Comics felt the need to plug Archie and all his Christian wholesomeness in this scene, but this scene is a bit anachronistic. In 1945, the title would have been Archie Comics. It wasn’t shortened to just Archie until the 50s. Get it right, assholes! Besides, if I know anything about the American military, if that guy’s reading an anachronistic Archie comic, it’s this one.

Would you like a Freedom Foot Massage? A Liberty manicure?  Perhaps a Jesus facial?

Would you like a Freedom Foot Massage? A Liberty manicure? Perhaps a Jesus facial?

Rape you? What do you think we are? Russian?

This comic sure knows its audience. Fundamentalists suck at subtlety and nuance, and this comic makes sure to state its point so bluntly that even the dullest godhumper mind can grasp it. Russians bad. Americans good. Breakfast!

Were the American soldiers quilting in their free time?

The Americans give Hansi the royal treatment for a couple pages, then she’s taken in by the Red Cross, where Rudy’s sister finds her and informs her that Rudy’s U-boat was sunk, and he’s presumed dead. Good fucking riddance, I say. Sleep with the rapist fishes, Rudy.

By this comic's logic, that means Rudy's mom got raped.

Ugh. By this comic’s logic, that means Rudy’s mom got raped, too.

Why does everyone love Hansi so much? For a comic about the cruelties of WWII, Hansi seems to get off horse-fuckingly easy in every single situation. Horrible things are happening all around her, but she’s always just fine. Even the Russian rapists spare her. The Americans treat her like she’s the fucking Queen of Free Blowjobs. Rudy’s sister seems to love her more than her own mother. Hair Helmet took a fucking bullet for her.

And yet, all she does is just fucking stare stupidly into the distance and puke up stereotypes and propaganda she absorbed from others. Other than the fact that she’s got a pretty face (clearly modeled on Betty Cooper–go back to that gang rape scene and imagine it in an issue of Betty and Veronica), what appealing qualities does she have? She even hates gum!

She gets a job as a teacher in Bavaria, and her life is fucking wonderful and perfect. As lives in war-torn nations are, naturally.

The hills are alive with the sound of white privilege!

The hills are alive with the sound of privilege!

Hansi, you selfish bitch! You’re surrounded by people who survived the Holocaust, the families of those who didn’t, soldiers who were traumatized by the most destructive war ever fought, families devastated by all the fucking carnage and horror attendant to worldwide warfare, and you learn that your ex didn’t die a horrible death in a sunken U-boat along with all his comrades, and your very first thought is whether you should date him again?

Fuck. You.

Wait. Is that Hair Helmet? Is she a redhead now? I honestly can’t tell. The comic never tells us who this redheaded chick is, and we never see her again. I don’t think she’s Hair Helmet, as she appeared to be quite dead earlier. Unless… Oh my god, she’s a ginger zombie! She’s going to eat our brains! (Don’t worry, Hansi, you’re safe.)

The ginger zombie apocalypse might go some way in explaining the Dutch angles on those last two panels. Every now and then the artist tilts a couple panels, but there usually seems to be little rhyme or reason to it. Maybe he/she just got bored drawing Jesus crap for a hack publisher and decided to mix things up for shits and giggles.

So, anyways, yeah. Rudy’s back. Turns out he escaped in an inflatable raft. How the fuck he pulled that off in a submarine is anybody’s guess. He and Hansi get married. Because that’s what you do when you’re a girl. You marry the guy who said he hopes you get raped. But the marriage is unfulfilling. What could be missing?

Get out the Q-Tips, bitch, 'cause you're about to get ear-fucked by scripture!

Get out the Q-Tips, bitch, ’cause you’re about to get ear-fucked by scripture!

Hansi is reluctant at first (for, like, a single panel). But before long…

How fucking big is the print on that Bible?

How fucking big is the print on that Bible?

She and Rudy just start mindlessly regurgitating one Christian trope after another. All it takes is a few Bible verses and their little pea-brains are immediately won over.

Let’s note something important here. Hansi has not changed. She just as much of a blind follower as ever. She’s just as spoiled and myopic as ever. She’s the same person she was from page 1, but with a layer of Jesus smeared over her. That’s it.

And when has she ever been disappointed? Almost everything has gone her way, and every hardship she’s faced has been easily circumvented. Every shit-eatingly stupid decision she’s made has only resulted in harm coming to other people, like Rudy (sunken U-Boat) and Hair Helmet (raped, shot, and zombified).

The shallowness and gullibility of her character of course would be lost on this comic’s target audience. You can see why in the second panel above. “Do we DARE to believe?” As if gullible belief in a bunch of old fables is somehow a brave act. As if joining the Christian majority in the West is somehow courageous. “Dare to be a blind follower!” Because if your beliefs are petty, childish, and simpleminded, you can console yourself with the lie that you’re actually a hero.

Anyways, Rudy and Hansi take their new found faith and move to America. But they’re shocked when they arrive.

Go back to Czechoslovakia, you ungrateful whore!

Go back to Czechoslovakia, you ungrateful whore!

Oh my god! America has hippies and litter and black people! Maybe we should go to that Real America Sarah Palin keeps yammering about.

God hates TAB.

God hates TAB.

So diet food is evil now? Is there anything fundamentalists won’t complain about? (That HEALTH AIDS sign is a bit unfortunate, but not unprecedented.)

Hansi decides that America is too materialistic and hedonistic and needs more Jesus. I would inform her that America’s rampant materialism is a direct product of that capitalism thing that the fundamentalists are so fond of, but since she’s shown no sign of being able to connect two ideas that some authoritarian belief system didn’t already connect for her, it would be a waste of time. Hansi blames the problems she sees in her students on their lack of stupidity, and realizes what the world needs is for her to spread her idiocy far and wide. We then get the most revealing series of panels in the whole comic.

Am I the only one who can't help but think she's having an orgasm during this?

Am I the only one who can’t help but think she’s having an orgasm during this? (And for someone who apparently loves America so much, how did the author manage to get the Pledge of Allegiance wrong? How do you fuck that up?)

Remember when I said she hadn’t changed a bit from when she was a Nazi? Well, that is actually the entire message of this comic. Be like the Nazis, but replace Hitler and Victory with Jesus and America. It’s good to be God’s little fascist robot!

There is no other way to interpret this. Hansi’s flaw wasn’t in her bigotry, her ignorance, her blind jingoism, her sheep-like devotion to an authority figure, her inability to think for herself, or her rah-rah attitude towards the destruction of other nations. Those things are all just fine. She just didn’t include Jesus in the mixture. That’s the only shortcoming that this book ever points out in her.

Hansi goes on to create a ministry where she saves people from horrible fates like being a hippie or not being a God-Nazi. She goes to prisons to preach “the word” (presumably she still thinks there’s no rape in this country, or she might focus on more pressing matters in our prisons). When I think about all the resources people waste on spreading nonsensical beliefs, and think about how many starving people those resources might have fed, I get pretty pissed off. But not as pissed off as these two panels make me.

I'm pretty sure that "Hitler taught me many things" isn't the best way to start a speech.

I’m pretty sure that “Hitler taught me many things” isn’t the best way to start a speech.

Hmmmm. Look at the faces in that crowd. I wonder whom he meant by “militants”…

Hell, that’s just what this comic needed. More fucking racism. Yup. Let’s pile even more of it on for good measure!

"But I have this weird feeling that a white woman is putting words in my mouth."

“But I have this weird feeling that a white woman is putting words in my mouth.”

So Hansi speaks at the prison, inspiring all those black militants to love America for this first time ever.

You know all those accusations against Barack and Michelle Obama that they don’t really love America and are always apologizing for it and they’re also somehow simultaneously atheist and Muslim and communist and terrorist? That shit ain’t new. The right wing has been otherizing blacks as America-hating militants for generations. Kinda like how somebody I’ve heard of would portray the Jews. There was this group–I forget what they’re called–but they always portrayed Jews as rats who were feeding off of society and didn’t sufficiently love some western European country… Hmmmm.

And this is the note on which the comic ends. No shit. There’s just one more panel of Hansi in front of the American flag saying she loves Jesus, and we’re done.

What have we learned from Hansi? Well, the name “Hansi” looks like a diminutive for “Hansel”, which is a boy’s name. So I conclude she must be a cross-dressing homo-Nazi who hates dieting. Makes about as much sense as anything else in this comic.

North Carolina gets shittier every day

As if the nasty vinegar-heavy barbecue sauce weren’t bad enough, North Carolina seems bound and determined to proclaim to the rest of the world just how much the state fucking sucks. Last year it became the most recent state to amend its constitution to ban gay marriage, and yesterday they decided even that wasn’t enough. Now, they’ve decided to add a new layer of racism onto the shit sandwich that is their state.

North Carolina’s governor says he agreed to repeal a law that allowed inmates to challenge their death sentences on racial grounds because it effectively banned capital punishment in the state.

“This law is bad, because it doesn’t allow us to kill enough black people.”

Any time someone tries to tell you that the South has changed since the days of slavery and lynchings need only read the quote above to see that that’s a bunch of bullshit.

North Carolina legislators barred death sentences “sought or obtained on the basis of race” in 2009, when both houses of the state General Assembly were under Democratic control.

The, legislation, known as the Racial Justice Act, allowed condemned convicts to use statistical analysis to argue that race played a role in their sentencing.

Sounds like a fair, just, and rational law. No wonder it only lasted 4 years.

Republicans who took control of the Legislature in 2010 weakened the law last year, overriding a veto by then-Gov. Bev Perdue, a Democrat.

Gov. Pat McCrory, a Republican elected in 2012, followed legislative action and signed its complete repeal Wednesday.

Fucking Republicans. Every time it looks like this country might take a tiny step forward, they grab it and drag it back into the Dark Ages.

“Nearly every person on death row, regardless of race, has appealed their death sentence under the Racial Justice Act,” McCrory said in a statement Wednesday. “The state’s district attorneys are nearly unanimous in their bipartisan conclusion that the Racial Justice Act created a judicial loophole to avoid the death penalty and not a path to justice.”

No, the state’s district attorneys want to kill more people so the ignorant voters will have their barbaric blood lust sated and keep them in office. The district attorneys, whose job it is to get people convicted, are not the people anyone should be consulting on this issue. This is like asking an oil company if we need to drive more. Of course they’ll say yes. But no one should care what they say.

The state still allowed capital punishment even while the Racial Justice Act was on the books. But state Democrats said the law resulted in at least four convicts being taken off death row after judges ruled that their sentences resulted from racial bias, with their sentences commuted to life in prison instead.

So the law only managed to help 4 people in 4 years before Republicans tore it up and flushed it down the toilet. You fucking suck, North Carolina Republicans.

About 53% of the 153 convicts awaiting execution in North Carolina are black, according to the state Department of Public Safety, while about 40% are white. African-Americans make up about 22% of the state’s population, according to Census figures.

Nope. No racism in North Carolina. None whatsoever.

The lynching days never ended. The only thing that changed is that nowadays it’s the state government that’s targeting blacks, rather than an ignorant mob of drooling redneck fuckbuckets. Or, more accurately, the voters took that ignorant lynch mob and made them the government.