I’m not laughing with you…

I’m not going to sugarcoat it. The Editorial and Letters to the Editor pages at the Daily Oklahoman are just fucking pathetic. It’s just sad that the largest newspaper in my home state publishes such utter dribble. To me, they’re rarely good for anything more than a laugh. So I figured, I might check in and see what kinds of things make them laugh

Ten Commandments critics’ claims laughable

Ha ha! Those silly people who think we should have to follow the Constitution! It’s so laughable! Who needs the Constitution when we have totally non-laughable things like the Bible, which says important things like this:

2 Kings 18:27

But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

Serious shit, people.

We’ve raised questions about the wisdom of installing a Ten Commandments monument at the Oklahoma Capitol — not because we disagree with the commandments’ content, but because limited taxpayer dollars will likely be wasted on an unsuccessful legal defense.

You don’t disagree with the commandments’ content? Not even this one?

Exodus 20:17

King James Version (KJV)

17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.

So you’re totally cool with slavery and men treating their wives like property? ‘Cause the author of that verse clearly is.

The U.S. Supreme Court has sent mixed signals, upholding some Decalogue monuments but ruling against others. Monuments passing court review have been components of larger, long-standing historical displays. The Oklahoma monument is a stand-alone item, likely undermining state arguments for its constitutionality.

A perfectly sensible paragraph. If only everything you wrote were like this. But the sense and rationality bus comes to a screeching halt and explodes in a ball of fiery pettiness and bad logic from here on out.

Even so, the claims of some critics are laughable. This week, New Jersey-based American Atheists Inc. and Oklahoma residents Aimee Breeze and William Poire filed a lawsuit challenging the monument. Breeze regularly travels to the Capitol during legislative sessions. As a result, the complaint claims that she’s “confronted” by the Ten Commandments display, which she finds “hurtful and exclusive.”

Seriously? The monument is on the north side of the Capitol. The main parking lot is on the south side. The main pedestrian entrances are on the south, east and west sides. To actually see the monument, you’d have to go looking for it. If Breeze is being “confronted” by the display, she’s deliberately going out of her way to experience this allegedly “hurtful” situation.

Where the hell do you get the balls to call other people’s arguments laughable when this is the putrid shit you spew?

“We put the monument on a side of the building where there are fewer people. If there are fewer people, then there are no people, and no one ever has a reason to go to it. Therefore, I get cupcakes!”

That’s the best I can do to parse out the illogical dumbfuckery on display here. Hey, Daily Oklahoman, how the fuck to you know which side of the building she goes to while she’s there?  Were you there? Do you know her? Do you know her routine? Did you ask her? If the answer to these questions is No (and I’m sure it is), then that last sentence came directly from somewhere between Saturn and Neptune. You have abso-fucking-lutely no way of knowing what her reasons for being on the north side of the building are.

Besides, even if she did go out of her way to see it, how the fuck does that undermine her argument? Rosa Parks got on that bus deliberately looking to get kicked off when she refused to go to the back. Does that make her claim that she was discriminated against “laughable”? Whether she was deliberately looking for it or not, she was discriminated against either way. Why she was there is god damn irrelevant.

And do you seriously expect people to buy this obviously fallacious “If it’s on a side of the building where fewer people go, then the complaints must be illegitimate” crap? If ANYBODY can see it then it’s in a public place and such complaints have at least some legitimacy. A ten year old could see the fucking holes in your logic. I fucking dare you to try an argument like that in court. The judge will likely find it, well, fucking laughable.

The lawsuit also claims the monument establishes a “thought crime” against coveting your neighbor’s wife, and restricts free speech rights through prohibitions on worshipping graven images and taking the Lord’s name in vain. Nonsense! There are no actual state laws against those activities.

Those are their italics. I didn’t put them there. They really want  to emphasize that last point. So here, let me use some italics of my own to emphasize the only rational conclusion any sane person should reach from this:

The Ten Commandments have precisely fuck-all to do with American law.

They came from a society where thoughts COULD be a crime. They came from a society that practiced slavery and traded women like they were fuckable action figures. They came from a society that had no religious freedom at all, no Bill of Rights, and you were taking your life in your hands if you said anything indicating you don’t believe in the Magical Pervert in the Sky.

They. Are. Not. Our. Laws. So what the fuck are they doing at our capitol? And why the fuck are you so confused when someone points out that putting them there is offensive?

Want to “worship” a statue you made in wood shop? Knock yourself out. Want to lust after married women or men? You can do so, although we wouldn’t recommend it.

Want to go to the capitol without being told that you’re inferior and this capitol isn’t really for you? Well too bad, unless you’re Christian or Jewish.

An individual’s actions can be immoral without being illegal, just as a monument can be a bad idea without validating the overwrought claims of its thin-skinned critics.

I really wish the right wing would get that first part through their glacially thick skulls. That would end every single argument against gay marriage.

But the latter half of that sentence is just fucking dumb. The monument at the capitol isn’t just a bad idea. It’s ILLEGAL. And, more importantly, its actual purpose is very, very clear. Apparently, the editors at the Oklahoman don’t read their own letters column, or else they’d already know what the bigots who read their pathetic rag think this monument is for:

The First Amendment doesn’t mandate the Christian faith for each person; however, it does mandate the freedom to worship as one chooses — or not at all. Ten Commandments monuments on public property are a tribute that recognizes our historic, constitutional commitment to the principles and values that the Ten Commandments provide. Other faiths not based on and committed to honoring the Ten Commandments don’t truthfully represent this Christian nation and its commitment to these civilizing principles and values. Neither can their monuments.

Got that? Only Christianity–with its “civilizing” principles–can represent the USA #1 RAH RAH RAH. So we can only put up the 10 commandments. Not, say, the Five Pillars of Islam, or something from Hinduism, or a fucking awesome Satanist statue. Nope, just Christians. They get special treatment. The rest of you don’t even have civilizing principles, you heathen barbarians!

So, no, their claims are not overwrought. The obvious purpose of the monument is to promote Christianity while denying that promotion to every other religious belief, thereby demeaning everyone who isn’t Christian. It’s not laughable for someone to claim to feel hurt by that.

The monument violates the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment by elevating one religion over others and thereby creating an establishment of religion. It also violates the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment by allowing Christians to put up monuments but not Satanists or Muslims or Humanists. Hell, it might even violate the  No Religious Test Clause in Article VI, paragraph 3 of the Constitution, if you consider “Guy who puts the monument up” to be an office or trust. That last one’s quite a stretch, I admit. But it’s still better reasoning than the laughable shit the Oklahoman comes up with.

Advertisements

Catholic revenge porn brings out the prudes

Valerie Dodds is officially my favorite person of the day. When her classmates at her Catholic high school learned that she wanted to become a porn star after graduation, they did exactly what you would expect a bunch of uptight Catholic god-humpers to do–slut shaming. So what did she do? Well, once she graduated high school she became a porn star and went back to her old school to shoot a little revenge porn. Boo yah! There are a few pictures of it floating around. This one (NSFW) is my favorite. Porn-posing over a Bible verse that says “all things IN Christ”? Check. Putting her pussy right above the “things” just in case the suggestion was too subtle? Check. Making a gagging gesture to indicate what having sex with Christ would induce? Check, check, check. Pure, unadulterated awesomeness.

But of course, this is the internet age. If a woman does something sexual to protest her peers’ slut-shaming her, we all know what happens next. More people come out of the woodwork to slut shame her. The comments sections of several articles on the topic are riddled with it. For example

sarahelizabeth24 hours ago
What the heck is wrong with her eyebrows in the first picture??The better question is…what the heck is wrong with her MIND to expect people NOT to mock her dream?? ESPECIALLY at a CATHOLIC SCHOOL??I certainly hope that the pictures end up being forcibly removed. This school does not deserve to have its name associated with such trash.

Oh, the Catholic Church deserves much fucking worse than this. How many priests do you think see that picture and immediately think, “If only she were an alter boy”?

Janeben20 hours ago
She’s a disrespectful piece of jailbait.

She’s 19. Do you even fucking know what “jailbait” means?

yesman61 day ago
They’re leaving out the part that about a year earlier she wrongly accused another student of sexual assault because she got caught sneaking out, costing the student and their parents around $20k to prove his innocence. This girl is a disease to society, especially Lincoln.

Big shocker: YESMAN6 provides exactly zero evidence to back up this allegation.

td231 day ago
What does she think she really accomplished? I am sure most of them, aside from the faculty, probably all looked at the photos and felt sorry for how screwed up this kid really is. The only person she embarrassed was herself. I have no problem with what she did from a personal perspective but have to sit here and laugh with her thinking she got the last laugh. Mostly everyone there was probably laughing at what a fool she’s made out of herself.

He has no problem with it. He just thinks any woman who does porn must be screwed up, embarrassing herself, and a fool. Because, as we all know, a woman who does something sexual does it because there’s something wrong with her, not because she’s an adult who can make her own choices and express her sexuality however she wants (so long as it’s consensual).

Bklyn Diamond1 day ago
And this is the result of raising a me me me generation that has no thought outside of the instant gratification of themselves.No sense of caring for others, no sense of respect of others at all.

Ah, another member of the We’re Better Than Everyone Else generation. How the fuck did their parents raise them that they ended up being so self-righteous? And is there any way we could get a time machine and go back and fish-slap each and every one of them until they promise not to raise a generation of sanctimonious twats?

ArmyTx1 day ago
All looks no brains.

Pretty girls are dumb! What an astute observation!

I think this “attractive people are dumb” twaddle stems from the fact that people need to think that people who are better than them in one area must be worse than them in some other. A guy with an expensive car must have a small penis. A girl who is very sexually free must have had a shitty childhood. Etc. Etc. Etc.

mikebythesea1 day ago
People have “dreams” of going into “adult entertainment”? And aren’t the names she was called at least in the ballpark given her ambitions? We’re not talking about one of the nuns being falsely labeled here.

There’s a slut-shaming ballpark? Did this happen when Rush Limbaugh was at ESPN?

Rok1 day ago
Way to prove them wrong… ur, uhm, right. Where are morals, values and sound decision making? Revenge? What is she, 13? Does she truly think the school feels any different about her? Lord in Heaven give this woman direction… besides being used as a depot.

Kinda like how this supposed Lord in Heaven used the Virgin Mary?

RCBQ81 day ago
At least she is getting paid for it now….I’m sure high school was freebies.

She’s a slut! Amiright amiright amiright!

Rok1 day ago
So… if that was your daughter? You’d have no problem? You’d say… ‘Good for you kiddo!! You’re beautiful and I hope you are the best porn star ever!!! I can’t wait until I see one of your movies!!’ SMH… it’s wrong… it promotes infidelity and promiscuity. Porn many times lands in the hands of children who have no business seeing it. It drives many without the ability to control their impulses to sexual depravity. Get it for real, honor your wife and women. Honor yourself and God. Be a man, an adult and have some self-discipline and control.

Some people really don’t have a problem with their kids doing porn, so long as they do it safely and consensually. But a lack of desire to judge others and control other people’s sex lives is just completely fucking incomprehensible to some of the shit-for-brains out there.

lexie161 day ago
Porn also promotes sex trafficking and slavery.

Except for that whole inconvenient part where it does no such thing at all.

RockawayBob1 day ago
She thinks she is shaming her former classmates and school. She is shaming herself and her family but she is too foolish to realize it. What a disgrace!
lexie161 day ago
She’s ruining her future. If she changes her mind about her ambitions she will never be able to get away from this.

This is one of the most infuriating things about bigots. They shame people for being gay or for being “sluts”, and then they say “It’s bad to be gay/a slut because people will shame you for it!”

Yes, people might shame her for doing porn. But not if you people don’t stop being such slut-shaming sexist bigoted pieces of dog shit. Stop creating a problem and then pointing to it as a reason that you should keep creating problems.

AshleighF1 day ago
No stable teenage girl “dreams” of doing porn.Her classmates must have just been calling it like they saw it.
sarahelizabeth24 hours ago
Well, judging by the fact that she dangled naked in front of the motto of a CATHOLIC school, I would say lack of stability is definitely a possibility.

Another classic bigot chestnut: “You don’t think like me, therefore there must be something wrong with you.”

What really irritates me is that these are two women making these sexist remarks. Keep putting yourselves down, girls. It’s just what the men on the right wing want you to do. It’s easier for them to repress you if you do all the work yourselves.

Tio Tony1 day ago
Aspiring (love that word). Gonna get revenge, typical woman.

Men never get revenge. Ever. It’s just those dirty cunts who get revenge. It’s not like there’s an entire genre of action movies about men who get revenge or anything. Nope. Rambo was a lady. A big, muscley, deep-voice, be-facial-haired lady. Yup.

Fucking idiot.

mick73641 day ago
A female teen porn star, got to love the new women of America, thank you liberal America.

I do love the new women of America. They don’t let judgmental donkeyfuckers like you tell them what they can do with their own bodies.

olleb1 day ago
ja ja ja ! She is panning to go do the same in front of the court house, That looks like fun to her, Ohhh My God, this is America’s future!
Some kids want respect with a gun in hand,others prefer to sell drugs, girls prefer to have kids and join the welfare system, But just a few smart ones go for education, Look at this stupid 19 year old, she has the chance to hang a diploma on her wall, but she choose to hang dildoessss!
and this is the start……..!

How many diplomas do you think are on this genius’ wall?

east new york1 day ago
she’s a cutie, so stop.
I told you interracial porn is BIG, and the internet has
made this a hundreds of million dollar industry.
lock ya daughters up, she could be next and
this could be her dream too.

Wait. What? Uh… Is racism just attracted to sexism by some kind of asshole magnetism? Because the issue here has nothing to do with race.

Well, anyways, I’m done here. I think I’m gonna go make fun of that girl and see if she’ll do a show at my place next.

Kidding, of course. 😉