Vox Populi

If you’re like me and enjoy reading something excruciatingly dumb every now and then, then you can rarely go wrong with the Letters to the Editors pages of local newspapers. I usually find myself wondering, “If these are the ones they saw fit to publish, just how awful must the unfit ones have been?” And today’s three letters are no different.

Let’s start with C. Dale German of Bethany, OK, who has a nuanced and original take on the current condition of these great United States.

One nation under God

Ha ha! Just kidding. He’s just gonna regurgitate dishonest god-humper boilerplate. This asshole has totally drunk the “1950s were a utopia” Kool-Aid about the 1950s that too many Americans gullibly believe, and he wants us all to know how deluded he is.

America was once a civil place.

Even our Wars were Civil!

Democrats and Republicans fought from opposite political perspectives yet were both proud Americans.

In fact, just like now, they would NEVER shut up about what proud Americans they are. It’s practically the only thing politicians ever say in this country.

Families could watch TV with small children and never hear profanity.

Talk about first world problems. Oh, I’m sorry, I meant fucking god damn first world problems, you cunt-faced son of a bitch.

School days began with Bible reading, a salute to the flag and the Lord’s Prayer.

That flag reference sandwiched between two religious references is very revealing. As much as they yammer on about the evils of idolatry, the flag might as well be a god to fundamentalists.

We went to work and left our houses unlocked.

Then you were idiots, seeing as crime rates were about the same in the 1950s as they are today, and are actually steeply declining over the last two decades. The only thing that’s changed is now you have sensationalistic 24 hour news channels constantly bombarding you with real life horror stories.

The American military was strong and respected.

That’s because we’d just dropped a fucking nuke on Japan. The “respect” was bullshit. People just didn’t want to get fucking nuked.

Americans felt blessed to live in America.

We still do. I just had a conversation the other day about how happy I am not to live in fucking Mexico where the fucking cartels are leaving duffel bags full of severed heads in elementary schools. The difference is that I don’t feel the need to buttress those feelings with glurgy, sentimental garbage and lies like you do.

“Blue laws” supported businesses that closed on Sunday.

Free enterprise!

Those who don’t remember this America don’t know how heartbreaking it is for those who do remember the America we lost.

It wasn’t lost, because you can’t lose something that never existed.

For sure there was poverty, segregation and social ills to be cured in an evolving America.

*Snort!* Yeah, America in the 50s was great! We saluted the flag and didn’t say the word “shit” on TV! Sure, there was crime, injustice, racism, sexism, higher poverty rates, higher illiteracy rates and all. But we had blue laws! (By the way–blue laws still exist in many cities…)

But we remember a nice country.

That’s because you were a spoiled little brat who was shielded from the harsh realities of the country you lived in. Social ills and injustice are perpetuated by silence, and silence is exactly what a sanctimonious, censorious, prudish, sheltered society like 1950s America breeds. That’s why you were so content with your fucking censored TV and chintzy American flag crap while black people were being beaten in the streets just for protesting Jim Crow laws. “Yeah, there was segregation and poverty, but I remember a nice country.” Shut the hell up.

School teachers and clergy wore suits and were respected.

If you paid school teachers a decent wage maybe they could afford more suits. Or, you know, feed and clothe their children. But the suits seem to be what’s important to you, and if that’s what it takes to get you to pay teachers more, then I guess I can go with it.

Men respected women as ladies and women responded as ladies.

“As ladies”. There is so much packed into those two words that I could write an entire blog post unraveling it. (Don’t worry. I won’t.) Let’s just say that this is the 1950’s “suits=respect” way of saying “Bitches stayed in their place.”

We can hope that not all is lost.

I hope all of it is lost. I don’t want to live in a society where superficial crap like words on TV, saluting a flag and wearing a suit are more important than real life concerns like poverty and injustice. Take your shallow-minded, cotton-candy, shiny-surface-with-a-rotten-core vision of America and shove it.

When those who remember are gone and only those who don’t remember remain, we can hope today’s crass, vulgar, obscenity of incivility will one day fade into history in a born-again America true to its founding purpose — one nation under God.

Or we could just keep living our lives and wait for all you pathetic old fogies to die so we don’t have to hear about this crap any more. The really funny thing is that 60 years from now people will be saying these exact same things about the times we’re currently living in. Humans are nothing if not predictable animals.

Our next subject, Wayne Hull of Yukon, OK, has some serious fucking Fatwa Envy going on:

Regarding the staging of “The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told” at Civic Center Music Hall: Why would anyone during the holidays condemn an actual religion of peace? Imagine the ferocious protests if the same venue was being used to stage “The Most Fabulous Ramadan.” Why mock people of faith who celebrate their faith?

Because it’s funny? It’s telling that every time Christianity is mocked, the response is a furious protest by Christians claiming that Christians don’t do furious protests so fuck the Muzzies. They are so jealous of Muslims they can barely contain it.

What’s hilarious about ridiculing the story of Christ, likely using the most exaggerated homosexual caricatures in the presentation, and infusing sex acts into a holiday otherwise devoid of promiscuity?

Christmas? Devoid of promiscuity? Are you fucking high? The whole damn holiday revolves around a teenage girl giving birth out of wedlock.

Oh, and notice how he says “likely” when describing the contents of the play he’s furiously not-protesting. That means he hasn’t seen the play he’s criticizing. Fucking typical.

How is this anything but an affront to people whose beliefs are different and, consequently, threatening?

Pretty sure you’re the one protesting people whose beliefs you view as different and threatening. Hasn’t that been the whole theme of every single sentence prior to this one?

They made a play about gay Jesus. Fucking get over it. You didn’t even fucking see it, and no one is forcing you or anybody else to watch it. Yet you protest its very existence. You, my friend, are the one being intolerant.

Last year the Obama administration openly condemned an American citizen for a YouTube video poking fun at the Prophet Muhammad.

This would be a good time to remind everyone that the term “religion of peace” in regards to Islam was coined by George W. Bush. Pandering to Muslims is nothing new, and both parties do it. It’s not right, but it’s not exclusive to Obama, either.

Now our elected officials waffle with another public piece that, if paralleled in regards to Islam, would likely result in mass riots.

More fatwa envy. American Christians really, really, REALLY wish they could get away with the violence that goes on in the Muslim world. They’d love to riot and chop people’s heads off if they could.

Christians are supposed to shut up passively as their faith is ridiculed. If they speak up, they’re chastised as being bigots or, at least, anti-First Amendment.

And rightly so, because that’s exactly what they are. But no one is calling for you to be censored. What you’re asking for, on the other hand…

Those who support a “gay agenda” must know how deeply regressive this play impacts their desire to be recognized as part of a larger society.

Only amongst small minded bigots like you. Normal people don’t respond to a gay Jesus play by thinking, “Well, I guess that means I should deny gays their rights!” That’s not how human brains work.

The Christmas story isn’t a story of gay sex, let alone gay persons.

See? The gay people don’t need your fucking approbation anyhow. You’ve already excluded them, so why should they censor their play to appease your bigoted ass?

It’s a Middle Eastern story of one man whose life changed the world forever.

Which is why we Christians fight tooth and nail to make sure it never changes again….

…And lose every time.

And just so it doesn’t look like I’m unfairly picking on my home state, let’s move on to Pennsylvania. Central Pennsylvania, to be more precise. And as we all know, central Pennsylvania is the most important Pennsylvania, because it’s central to all that other Pennsylvania. And it’s got those fires that never, ever, ever go out.*

But that’s not what the real problem is. Take it away, Chris Hicks of East Pennsboro Township.

If the question is gay marriage, God has the answer

Please tell me Jesus finally proposed to Muhammad.

In response to Shirley Ericson’s letter, “United Methodist church is acting against a courageous minister“:

Contrary to Ms. Ericson’s opinion, God is not this grandfatherly-cosmic-casual-genie that looks down on us and is OK with our sinful condition.

Grandfatherly Cosmic Casual Genie sounds a lot better when you sing it to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon theme. Seriously, try it.

And why would god even be a genie, casual or otherwise? I read Shirley Ericson’s letter. She at no point implies that Jeebus is played by Shaq or Robin Williams, or that he ever grants any wishes (see what I did there? Prayer is bullshit!). The only person talking about this weird genie Jesus is you, bub.

Anyways, if gob doesn’t like our sinful condition, he shouldn’t have created it in the first place. He chose to give us free will and put tempting fruit in the garden. If he’s unhappy with the result, he has no one to blame but himself. Would you put a steak on your floor then beat your dog for eating it?

His word is clear and infallible. It does not change, while a culture’s moral compass becomes clouded and is in decline.

How exactly can a compass be in decline? Maybe he’s referring to the Golden Compass film franchise…

His word is rock solid, firm and clear.

Weirdly, this is also true of his dick.

Sin is bad because it hurts the heart of God.

What is it about fundamentalist religion that turns its followers into prattling five year olds? The baby-talk that comes from these people is just plain fucking creepy. The above sentence should never be spoken by any human being over the age of 8, unless they have, like, Down’s syndrome or something. And even then they should keep it to a minimum.

But apparently, in this guy’s puerile mind, an omnipotent being can be hurt. How? How could a perfect being be harmed in any way? If he has ANY vulnerabilities or shortcomings whatsoever, then he is not perfect and omnipotent.  It makes no sense to speak of a perfect being feeling or wanting or needing anything at all. And, with one fell swoop, I’ve just erased the motivation for all but the most deistic forms of religion. Sorry about that. I know how you guys hate logic.

When will we quit trying to pursue our own fleshly lusts and sinful desires and seek to live sacrificial lives unto our great, gracious, holy heavenly Father?

When we all lose our god damn minds. So, hopefully never.

For a closing exercise, click on that link above and read Shirley Ericson’s letter, then go back and read Chris Hicks’ again.  These are both Christians, but they are clearly very different kinds of Christians. And I’m not just talking about their views on gay marriage being different. Their brains work differently.  They’re processing information and reacting to it in starkly different ways.

Even before we get to their beliefs and their claims, just the language of the two letters shows striking contrasts. Both letters, for instance, contain a single interrogative sentence. But they use the interrogative for entirely different purposes. Ericson’s interrogative (third paragraph) is a hypothetical in which she presents some evidence and then provides a logical conclusion from it in order to make the reader THINK about their position. She’s challenging her audience to use their minds and reconsider their position.

Now look at Hicks’ interrogative, which I just snarked at above. It’s a lament, intended to get people to stop behaving differently from him and start unquestioningly obeying an authority. It has precisely the OPPOSITE purpose as Ericson’s. And rather than use logic to persuade, he tries to change the reader’s mind by appealing to a cognitive bias humans have to be more trusting of people who look wealthy, clean, beautiful, or powerful. Seriously, would even North Korea use language like his to describe its leader?

The baby-talk is completely absent from Ericson’s letter. Her declarative sentences are more complex than Hicks’, and again she uses them differently. Her declarative sentences consist mostly of statements of fact that are not a matter of belief, such as “This guy will lose his job,” etc. She often uses these facts as premises and conclusions in arguments. For Hicks, EVERY declarative sentence states as fact something that is a matter of his own personal faith. He doesn’t actually state a single faith-free fact anywhere in his letter. Not one. And he doesn’t make any arguments at all. He just declares his own beliefs as absolutely true by fiat, as if he himself were god.

I could go on and on analyzing the differences between the two, but the point should be obvious by now. There are different kinds of Christians, and differences between them run so deep that they alter the very way they process information and interact with the world. Ericson focuses on concrete facts. She then processes these to see what they imply. And if what they imply contradicts what she believes about gay marriage, she adapts her beliefs to the new information. She then proceeds to spell out these premises and conclusions for others, hoping to replicate the process in other minds as well. This is all just a long way of saying she’s a RATIONAL FUCKING PERSON.

Hicks, on the other hand, is a textbooks example of an authoritarian. He associates power with truth and beauty. If someone is powerful, then whatever they say must be true and good. He sees himself as a conduit of this power, and issues demands on its behalf that others assimilate to his thought processes or face dire wrath. So he’s like the Borg, but without any real power. He views communication between humans as a string of commands that others obey the power that he is vicariously channeling from an imaginary being.  And he sees value in others only insofar as they conform to this arbitrary string of commands. Which, again, is just a long way of saying he’s a FUNDAMENTALIST FUCKFACE.

I’m glad there’s no heaven. Spending eternity with these guys would be hell.

 

____________________

*No wonder they based a horror video game on it. That shit is fucking scary.

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If only there were no more popes…

So, WingNutDaily, what do you have in store for me today? (And by “in store”, I mean an article that is actually a thinly veiled attempt to sell me something.)

WND EXCLUSIVE

Ancient ‘Prophecy of the Popes’ coming true?

Documentary explores intrigue that has lasted for centuries

That’ll do. I’m sure there’s plenty of crazy shit in this article to make fun of. Whenever WND brags of getting the scoop on some Huge Fucking Prophecy that has boggled the mind of scholars for centuries, it almost always turns out to be some obscure bullshit that they dug up and no one but them gives a shit about. This will not be an exception.

What I find especially interesting from the get-go is that this apparently wasn’t the original intended title for the article. The URL seems to show us what they really wanted to say:

http://www.wnd.com/2013/07/will-the-antichrist-be-the-pope/

That’s a bit more provocatively stupid, but might alienate some of WND’s crazed Catholic readers, so I can see why they might change it. But it’s not like WND to show restraint. Usually they try to be as provocatively stupid as possible. The fact that they apparently tried to rein this article in is a bit intriguing.

A new documentary is the first effort to take an objective look at the prophecies of a 12th century Irish Catholic saint and what they portend for the future of the Church and Pope Francis.

See that link at the beginning? It goes to the WND SuperStore where you can buy the DVD. Because WND knows that their audience is stupid enough to trust a purported movie review from a source that is actively trying to sell the movie they’re reviewing.

Next WND will be taking a totally objective look at unicorns and what they predict for the downfall of the Obama administration, please send money. Because that’s how objectivity works, right?

According to the Prophecy of the Popes, a time of vast biblical significance is now at hand.

You fucking Christians have been saying this shit for 2,000 god damn years. It’s about god damn time to put up or shut up. Jesus ape-fucking Christ, I was climbing the walls when League of Extraordinary Gentlemen shipped just one year late. Note: The “Jesus” at the beginning of that sentence was not a profanity. It’s a fucking ultimatum. Hey, Jesus. Either come back already or tell your obnoxious followers to shut the fuck up. Todd fucking MacFarlane is more punctual than you are.

“The Last Pope?” includes medieval historians, Vatican-affiliated experts and authors. From Ireland to Italy, “The Last Pope?” tells a riveting story of eschatological intrigue. The film is based on the book, “Petrus Romanus: The Final Pope is Here,” by Tom Horn and Cris Putnam.

So it’s a low rent version of The Da Vinci Code for people dumb enough to think it’s real. (Note: The Da Vinci Code is already quite low rent. A renowned scholar told me so.)

“The Last Pope?” delves deeply into the prophecies of St. Malachy, an Irish saint and archbishop of Armagh who lived from 1094 to 1148. Malachy’s “Prophesies of the Popes” is said to be based on a prophetic vision of the 112 popes following Pope Celestine II, who died in 1144.

Malachy’s prophecies, first published in 1595, culminate with the “final pope,” “Petrus Romanus,” or “Peter the Roman,” whose reign ends with the destruction of Rome and the judgment of Christ. A modern version of Malachy’s prophecies was published in 1969 by Archbishop H. E. Cardinale, the Apostolic Nuncio to Belgium and Luxembourg.

The film examines Malachy’s prophecies, which are a series of statements that purportedly provide clues as the identity of each of the 112 popes, in a critical light. Some of the statements refer to a particular town, while others make references to the coat of arms representing each pontiff.

More accurately: The prophecies are full of vague references and “symbolism” that could be interpreted 38 gajillion different ways. What matters is that we included two more links to the WND SUPERSTORE. BUY BUY BUY!!!

Skeptics have said the book is nothing more than a collection of phrases similar to the writings of Nostradamus. Putman says people have a right to be skeptical, and if Malachy’s revelations are correct, they should stand up to scrutiny using the scientific method. He goes on to say that they provide a fascinating insight into the history of the popes.

Here’s the six-step scientific method according to these people:

  1. Assume there’s such a thing as prophecy.
  2. Read obscure passage.
  3. Connect symbolically to some modern day occurrence.
  4. Prophet!
  5. Profit!

Why the fuck are we talking about scientific method regarding some specific prophecy when there isn’t a shred of scientific evidence to suggest that there is any such thing as prophecy? This is like a scientist frivolously doing experiments to see whether his DNA is enboobulated, without ever bothering to see if enboobulation is even a real thing.

“The way the scientific method works is you develop a hypothesis and you don’t try to prove a hypothesis, you try to disprove it,” Putnam said. “It’s easy to find some kind of confirming evidence if you go fishing around. In a lot of these prophecies, I think that’s a valid criticism.”

There’s a hell of a lot more to scientific method than that. For one thing, any scientific inquiry needs to be fully embedded in the context of what we already know. It needs to be not only evidence-based, but also based on and derived from other concepts which are fully evidence-based and supported by evidence.

But kudos to you for at least acknowledging the rampant confirmation bias that infects all talk of “prophecy”. I fully expect you to maintain this rational state of mind at least into the next sentence.

However, he says one pope in particular stands out in the prophecy surrounding his reign. For Pope Benedict XV, who was pontiff from 1914 to 1922, Malachy’s prophesy says “Religio Depopulata” or “religion depopulated.”

“Religion depopulated, now that is a bold prediction. With all things being equal, you wouldn’t expect religion to be depopulated,” Putnam said. “It might go up and down a little bit, the church might grow it might fall off a bit, but that is a risky position. It is easily falsifiable. If nothing happened during his reign, I would think that this prophecy would’ve been falsified, but what happens during Benedict XV’s reign?

“This was the onset of World War I, which was devastating. In the Soviet Union and Russia, we see the Bolshevik revolution. This is the beginning of militant atheism and the time that 200 million people left the church. Probably more than in any time in history, religion was depopulated, exactly when this prophecy predicted it would hundreds of years before.”

I should’ve known better. He acknowledges that all prophets do is retroactively find modern day events which sound vaguely like some abstruse passage in an old book, acknowledges that this is a valid criticism, then turns around and does the exact same thing.

What the fuck does “religion depopulated” mean? Well, it could mean zillions of different things. I hope it means “No more religion”, but I’m not naive enough to think that could happen. But it doesn’t necessarily mean the atheism of the Bolsheviks (which would have involved Orthodox rather than Catholic religion). The mass suicide of the Heaven’s Gate cult, the Holocaust of the Jews, the Jonestown mass suicide and the Branch Davidian standoff in Waco, Texas, are also examples of non-Catholic religions being depopulated. But they don’t fit with the right Pope, so they get ignored.

It’s called confirmation bias, bitch. Look it up. Hell, I already did it for you. Just click and fucking read.

While the Catholic Church has had more than 400 years to dispute the procedures, a least one pope seemed to take stock in the prophecy. Pastor Angelicus, or the “Angel Pope,” was given to describe Pius XII, who was a fierce anti-communist.

Pius XII had a documentary made about himself, which he titled “The Angel Pope.”

There’s that Christian humility we hear so much about.

“He was intimately involved in this project, and it even said how it exemplifies a day in the life of St. Malachy’s angelic shepherd in the heading,” Putnam said. “The Catholic Church has had 400 years to make a statement disputing [Malachy’s predictions], but here we have one of their infallible popes who obviously claimed it for himself. That begs an explanation from any scholar who wants to dismiss it.”

No, it doesn’t. The motherfucker called himself “The Angel Pope”. He was clearly delusional. That in and of itself means scholars are free to ignore his bullshit.

This is classic conspiracy theorist reasoning. I’m being ignored, therefore I’m important! They can’t accept the fact that Malachy was just some obscure dingbat who was lucky enough to have his drooling ramblings recorded. The fact that he’s ignored, which usually is evidence of insignificance, is taken to be evidence of his earth shattering relevance.

Conspiracy theorists and fundamentalists live in Opposite Land, where irrelevance is significance, obedience is freedom, ignorance is knowledge, and faith is reason.

Malachy’s prophecies appear to even have an eerie prediction regarding John Paul I, who was only pope for just more than a month. Describing John Paul I, Malachy says he is “of the half moon.” Interestingly, John Paul I ascended to the papacy on the day of the half moon.

We need to have a talk about what “interesting” means.

And since when are you goons into astrology? Didn’t that used to be evil devil worshiping sinful shit?

Following the death of John Paul I, evidence suggested that the pontiff may have been poisoned. The details are covered in the book “Murder in the Vatican” by Avro Manhattan. Regardless of the cause of his demise, a statement made by John Paul I seems to indicate he had some knowledge of his impending death.

Cardinal Luciani, patriarch of Venice, was asked in Latin, “Do you accept your election as Supreme Pontiff, which has been canonically carried out?” His reply was unexpected as he said, “May God forgive you for what you have done in my regard.” In just more than a month, he was dead, supposedly dying in his sleep.

Yes, that PAST TENSE sentence is a prediction of the future.

Objective scientific method, ladies and gentlemen.

While Malachy’s prophecies have been around for centuries, Pope Francis is the final pope mentioned by the archbishop. If his prophecies are correct, Francis could be the last pope before the return of Jesus Christ.

That “last pope” thing sounds nice. That “return of Christ” thing sounds fucking childish and idiotic.

Dr. George Grant, a historian and former pastor who has written more than 60 books, says regardless of whether there is any validity to the prophecies, sooner or later Pope Francis and the Vatican will have to deal with issue.

“It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s true; it matters whether people think it’s true and that they act in light of it,” Grant said. “Francis and the Vatican will have to deal with this in some way, and in dealing with it they are in a sense giving credence to it. Do I think we need to pay attention to it? Absolutely.”

Fuck truth! We’re the Catholic Church!

And that’s where the article ends. Presumably they feel like they baited the hook enough and this should get their clueless, fuckbrained, rube readers to buy the DVD.

Speaking of clueless, fuckbrained rubes, WND usually has “interesting” comments on their articles. Let’s take a look at a few…

Junie32 hours ago
Pope False Prophet, anti- Messiah will be a Jew from the tribe of Judah, King Solomon is a type of Anti-Messiah. Here’s your picture of him. http://watch.pair.com/solomon….

He want be an alien. The bible gives us an example, a picture of everything. Jews will not allow anyone who is not from the tribe of Judah. Sadly they will follow hm before most people.

Nope. Fuck this. I’m done.

Goliath Whines

So they’ve released the letters Jerry Sandusky and his wife gave to the judge prior to his being sentenced for molesting ten children over 15 years. Keep in mind, at the time he’s writing this he’s already been convicted. According to the court, he’s guilty. This is the time to try to convince  the judge to give one a merciful sentence. So how does he decide to address the court?

I write without expectation or a plea for leniency.

What? Then why are you writing at all?

As I sat looking at walls, I spent many hours reliving this ordeal. First, I looked at me, my vulnerability, my naivety (some say stupidity), and my trust in people.

Oh, poor you. Let’s all throw a pity party for the guy who coached at one of the biggest programs in the country, and who used his wealth and influence to lure young boys from troubled backgrounds into the showers where he raped them. I see Disney making an inspirational film about this in a few years. “The Little Child Molester Who Could” starring John Goodman as Rapey McGee sounds about right. They could get Brett Ratner to direct.

There were so many people involved in the orchestration of this conviction (media, investigators, prosecutors, “the system”, Penn State, and the accusers). It was well done. They won! When I thought about how it transpired, I wondered what they had won. I thought of the methods, decisions, and allegations.

This isn’t a game, Rapey, and it’s not a conspiracy either. Just how fucking delusional is this guy? Does he really believe that anyone is going to fall for this?  Hey, Rapey, the reason why you “wonder what they won” is because there is absolutely no reason for all these groups to conspire against you. Collectively they’ve got nothing to gain by railroading you. Get off your fucking high horse and realize that you are not so important that the whole world would go out of its way to bring you down. You’re a pedo football coach, not a god.

What would be the outcome of all the accusers and their families who were investigated? I knew the answer. All of their issues would surface. They would no longer be these poor, innocent people, as portrayed.

We all knew the victim blaming was coming, didn’t we? But even as victim blaming goes, Sandusky starts to get pretty god damn vile:

I have been blamed for all of their failures and shortcomings, but nobody mentioned the impact of the people who spent much more time with them than I did. Nobody mentioned the impact of abandonment, neglect, abuse, insecurity, and conflicting messages that the biological parents might have had in this.

Oh, so this is really about the victims blaming “all their shortcomings” on poor little you. Obviously the impoverished families of these charity kids are bullying the “vulnerable” wealthy, famous guy.

Those who have worked with troubled lives realize a common reaction for those with low self esteem is often to blame others.

It’s also a common reaction from self-absorbed, deluded perverts.

Maybe, they will have a better place to live, a new car, access to more highs, but they won’t change. Most of their rewards will be very temporary.

Well, I hope they enjoy all those new houses and cars they got from me shower-raping them.  I swear, some people just have no gratitude for a good old charity rape.

When I reflected, I realized much of what transpired was about protection. I was placed in protective custody; “the system” protected “the system”, the media, the prosecution, the civil attorneys, and the accusers. Everybody protected themselves. Penn State, with its own system, protected their public image, their decisions, and the allegations. The authorities were protected. Media protected their jobs and ambitions. Prosecutors protected their jobs and egos. “The system” protected the prosecution. As the stakes became higher, people had more to protect. Civil attorneys were protected.

Uh, actually, I’m pretty sure that this was mostly about protecting children from being raped.

The accusers were protected and provided access to potential financial gain, free attorneys, accolades, psychologists, and attention.

No, I mean protecting them BEFORE you rape them. You know, so all the attorneys and psychologists would be unnecessary.

And WTF? “Attention”? Really? Most of the victims’ names were never even publicly revealed. And rape victims are usually so ashamed of what happened to them that drawing lots of attention to it is the last thing they want.

But whatever, man. “The system” and all that, you know.

Then I thought of not being able to be with my wife Dottie, not seeing our dog, Bo, not being there for our kids, not seeing our grandchildren mature…

Okay, stop right there.

Instead of walls, I saw great memories: I saw loved ones who will carry the light; I saw family and friends; I saw those who overcame huge obstacles; I saw all the people who thrived with a little of our help and hope; I saw a locker room with people hugging and crying as national champs; I saw all the people who have stood by me; I saw all the inspirational cards and letters I had received;

Great speech, coach. And if this were the locker room before the big game, it might have some kind of point.

I saw me throwing thousands of kids up in the air and them asking for more;

EWWW!!!

I saw me in hundreds of water battles that nobody wanted to end;

EWWW EWWW EWWWW!!!!!

I saw black, white, brown, yellow, young, old, gifted, and handicapped all at our home; I saw kids laughing and playing; I saw a big, lovable dog licking their faces;

What the fuck is wrong with you??? You’ve just been convicted of child molestation. Don’t talk to the judge who’s about to sentence you about how you fantasize about child face licking, even if it’s a dog doing it.

Again: Ew!

The book with the most impact for me was entitled Left to Tell. It was about an amazing woman of tremendous faith who survived the Rwandan Holocaust. Over a million people were killed because they had to pick sides. She talked about what happened. In the words of a pastor, “I’ve seen these killing sprees before – once the blood lust is in the air, you can trust no one, not even your own children.” There was betrayal and murder. Families turned against one another. Best friends became enemies. Those who had been helped at one point in their life sought and killed those who had helped them. In a lesser way I’ve experienced this.

No. No, no, no, no, a million times No.

The sheer fucking shamelessness of this guy makes me want to puke. Being convicted of child molestation is JUST LIKE the civil war in Rwanda. Un-fucking-believable.

My trust in people, systems, and fairness has diminished. My faith in God who sends light through the darkness has remained.

Must be Catholic. God is very fond of kiddie-fuckers. Just one more reason to tell him to fuck off, in my opinion.

I was supposed to be David but failed to pick up the sling shot. Goliath won, and I must deal with the outcome.

No, you pompous, arrogant, bloated, perverted, self-centered, sick-minded, delusional gas bag. You are not David here. The victims are not Goliath.

You were Goliath compared to the ten year old boy you raped in a shower 11 years ago. You had wealth and power and physical strength on your side. He had nothing and no one to protect him, not even that coward McQueary who saw you do it and ran away rather than call the cops. You don’t get to be the victim here.

Sandusky’s also-evil wife also wrote a smug, self-righteous letter to the judge. It’s more of the same shit: victim-blaming, false martyrdom, whining, etc. etc. And as you might expect, it ends with this:

I pray each day that God will give me the strength to do what is right and that I will be able to hold our family together.

If you need any more proof that there is no God and we are alone in this universe, look no further than Jerry Sandusky. Earlier I called Mike McQueary a coward for witnessing a rape but not calling police. God, who is supposedly infinitely more powerful than McQueary, is even worse. God is infinitely more cowardly than McQueary or any of the others who knew but did nothing at Penn State. No benevolent God would sit by and watch a child be raped and do nothing to stop it. No maundering, logic-chopping theodicy from the “sophisticated” theologians can justify God’s inaction when it comes to the worst of human suffering, which would have to be violence against children.

Jerry Sandusky spent at least fifteen years molesting impoverished or troubled children while living a wealthy lifestyle. Fifteen years before he was finally brought to justice. Only a tiny fraction of the people who enabled this behavior will ever see justice. And Sandusky and those few who do see justice will blame the victims for their “suffering”. The worst part? This is only a tiny, tiny horror when compared with what the Catholic Church has done to children for centuries, often getting away scott free and attacking others who might even suggest that they should be held accountable. And these people, who are most dangerous to our children, then hold themselves up and the arbiters of morality!

There. Is. No. God.